Page 88 of Ruckus

“Sweetheart, I know I look as if God, himself, created me but everyone came from somewhere. She died when I was thirteen, got murdered and they never did find her killer.”

“How did I never know that?” I frown.

“We all got secrets, darlin’.” He takes my hand with the ring on and kisses it. “I wanted you to have this because she would have liked you. She’d have liked even more the way you make me feel.”

“Irritated and mad?” I laugh.

“No.” He shakes his head and “Like I wanna live.

“I came to the club when I was fourteen, because I knew it was dangerous. I was numb inside and I wanted to feel again. You did that. You wound me up and irritated the shit outta me, but I felt it and liked it and every day I wanted more.”

“I thought you hated me.” I smile sadly.

“I hated the idea of you. Of having another thing I could lose,” he admits.

“Then I left.” I feel the regret of that decision right to my bones.

“Then you left, and ya broke my heart, and I stuck around because I was desperate for you to come back.”

“Then I left again,” I whisper, hating that I’ve caused him so much pain through my stupidity.

“You’ve really put me through it.” He looks up at me with that sarcastic grin on his face.

“Well, you're stuck with me now.” I wave my finger in his face to remind him, and when he flips me onto my back and rolls on top of me, I giggle.

“That's such a perfect sound,” he tells me.

“I’ve got a much better one for you.” I smile up at him.

“Try it.” He looks doubtful.

“Take me home.”

“Kid’s lookin’ proud of himself.” I tap my glass against Finn’s as we watch Rocco dust off his new cut and show it off to the girls.

“He is, ain’t he?” I can see Finn ain’t overjoyed about the fact his brother just became a fully-patched member, but there's a glint of pride in his eyes too.

“So, will he be heading back to Montana with ya?” I check.

“Nah, ain’t no point, yet. There's a lotta work to do. I told him he’s better off stayin’ here and learnin’ from some of the best.” Finn slaps my shoulder as if he’s telling me I’m one of ‘em.

“Where’s Corey? I was gonna try and catch him before I get outta here,” he asks

“At home, studying like he should be.” I breathe out heavily when I think about how hard things have been between us recently, he’s really starting to resent me for not letting him prospect, I wish that kid could see the potential in himself.

“Ya know what they say ‘bout all work and no play,” Finn reminds me. “Hell, when I was his age I was–”

“Exactly, and so was I. I want better for him than that,” I cut him off.

“Well, I wanted better for him too.” Finn looks over to Rocco who’s getting the top of his head rubbed by Ruckus’s knuckles.“But he’s lookin’ happy, and who am I to tell him what his future holds?” Finn leaves me on that thought to join his brother, and I finish the last of my drink, before heading for the door.

I ain’t been home in a few days, mainly because I’ve been avoiding having another conversation with Corey about the club. I really thought that Ruckus giving him some shifts at the gym would be enough to make him feel involved, but if anything it’s made him more hungry for it.

“Hey, Dev.” Ruck catches me before I can make it out. “Where ya goin?”

“Home, ain’t been there in a while,” I growl.“You're ready for the mornin’ though, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I roll my eyes and go to move on. I ain’t looking forward to riding all the way to Colorado with Raze, Wrath and Ruck so we can discuss how to handle the Arizona situation. I’m done with worrying about corruption and disloyal members of this club.

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