Page 64 of Ruckus

Suddenly I’m feeling very sober and with his grip around my neck constricting me, I start to panic.

“What do you want, Cam?” My voice shakes as I force the words out.

“I want what I was promised.” He smirks at me. “I want you.” His lips slip over mine and he kisses me. Slow, passionately, and fear forces me to accept it. “We're gonna storm the Reapers' new compound tomorrow, and then you are gonna leave here with me. You’re comin’ back to my charter and you’re gonna be my old lady,” he whispers.

“I can’t…”

“Look at you shakin’ your head like you got a choice. Do you want all the people here to know that Davy’s dead because of you? Do you want your brother and that pretty wife of his to know that you knew what Cliff was doing to her? Sweetheart, I intend to treat ya a lot better than Chop woulda. Look at this as a blessin’.” His hand strokes my face.

“You knew about that?” I can’t believe this is happening.

“C’mon, you knew your father, do you really think he wouldn’t have had a plan B?” He laughs before kissing me again and I feel that dark cloud, hovering over my head, turn pitch black.

“Get some rest, tomorrow’s gonna be a big day for us.” He releases my throat and starts to back away.

“Wrath will never let me leave with you, he just got me back, and Ruckus…” I decide to hold my tongue on that. This bastard knows enough of my secrets.

“Ruckus is done playin’ babysitter to his best friend’s sister, he’s too busy havin’ fun at the lifeguard tower with that nasty little whore, and as for your brother… I’ll leave you to come up with somethin’ convincin’. Tell him a cute story, sweetheart. I’msure he’ll just want his little sister to be happy. Unless, of course, he found out the truth, then I’ll bet he’d wish you were as dead as his other one.” Cam strolls out the door and I quickly rush after him and lock it shut.

Ikeep trying Freya on the cell I got her last week, but she’s not picking up. Last night when I went to her room she wouldn’t even answer the door to me. She just yelled and told me to go away.

I spent my night in the room three doors down from hers and barely got any sleep. Now, staring up at her window from the yard, I’m seriously considering going back up there and pounding on her door again.

I shouldn’t have lost my temper the way I did when she told me she knew about the plan. But today’s important. We need to get through it without a hitch. Bury our brother, get our vengeance, andthenI can talk to Wrath.

No more secrets and lies.

“Is she still not talkin’ to ya?” Cam has a cigarette hanging outta the side of his mouth while he shines his boots.

“I was kinda off with her last night,” I admit. I can’t be mad at Cam for being the one who let it slip. All charters run differently, and there ain’t many old ladies in Arizona for his members to be worried about telling their business to.

“Yeah, well, you guys never saw eye to eye at the best of times.” He laughs, standing up and adjusting the tie I’m wearing.I wouldn’t be wearing the damn thing in the first place if Freya hadn’t convinced me to buy one for the fuckin’ occasion.

“Wrath put me in charge of lookin’ after her, and I can’t even get her to come out her damn room.” I play it down to him when I realize that I’m acting more like a concerned boyfriend than a guy with a job to do.

“I’m surprised Wrath wants her to even be here with all the shit you guys got goin’ on,” Cam points out, and it hurts to admit but he’s got a point.

I guess you can expect to hear sense from a man who got his ass outta Long Beach, and earned himself a president seat before he reached thirty.

“She’s safe here, I wouldn’t let anythin’ happen to her,” I assure him.

I overreacted last night, and let jealousy take over. I’m going to have to learn to deal with it better. Freya’s a fun person to be around, she’s always gonna have friends, sometimes male ones. Like Cam, and Josh, who’s proven he ain’t going nowhere by becoming a fuckin’ prospect.

“I remember from back in my prospecting days how hard she can be. You're a real good friend, Ruck. The kind that's hard to come by.” He slaps my shoulder before he heads inside and leaves me feeling like a fraud.

I’m relieved to see Freya in the yard an hour later when me, Vike, Dev, Sasquatch, Saint and Wrath step out of the clubhouse carrying Saul’s casket on our shoulders. The hearse is waiting in the parking lot and the girls stand beside Freya comforting her while she cries, then follow behind us. Vike is barely holding it together as we load our brother for his final journey and take oursaddles. I feel a sting in my chest when Eden and Payton climb on the back of Wrath and Raze’s bikes. Freya should be on the back of mine, but instead she looks across at me, smiles a little sadly, then gets into the car with Freya.

I have to tell myself that after today things will be different. She will be riding on my saddle, everyone here will know she’s mine and eventually she’ll let me in to that maze of secrets she keeps inside her head.

Saul’s funeral went as well as a funeral can go. There were plenty of tears and not all of ‘em came from the girls. There was no sign of Saul’s parents, or the girl who he loved, which I know Alicia was sad about. Now that we're back at the clubhouse, the mourning is done, and it’s time for justice. But not before the shit hits the fan…

“No.” We all hear Payton yell at Raze even though he and Wrath have taken they’re girls into his office to break the news.

Jessie looks at me and smiles.

“There’s a reason I left my old lady at home.” His arms fold across his chest as we watch through the glass window. Eden is throwing her arms up in protest, and when Raze sees they’ve got an audience, and rips down the blind to shut us all out. I decide now is the perfect time to make another attempt at speaking to Freya. She’s purposely made sure she’s surrounded by people ever since she came out of her room to make it hard for me.

“Polly, Anita, can I have a word with Freya.” I head over to the corner where they’re all sitting.

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