Page 58 of Ruckus

“Well, I don’t want it.” He turns his head, looking angry, and hot-as-sin with that bruise my brother gave him during their little playfight earlier.

“Don’t do that.” I rush to be closer to him. It’s needy and pathetic that I hate there being so much distance. “Don’t act like you don’t care.”

“Idon’tcare.” He heads to his refrigerator and grabs a bottle of water.

“Icared,” I admit. “When you left the clubhouse with that whore the other night, I cared so much that I nearly came after you and tore the cheap, fake hair right from her scalp.”

I feel infuriated when Ruckus shakes his head and laughs at me.

“Well, you know now that there was no need.” He unscrews the lid and knocks some back.

“Why would you rather be an asshole than just admit how you feel?” I grip at my hair. “Just say what you wanna say, Ruckus. It’s normal for people who sleep together to get jealous. It’s human fucking nature”

“Do you have feelin’s for him?” Ruckus stays calm, folding his arms and narrowing his eyes while he waits for my answer.

“I care for Josh as a friend. I was taking care of him…like a friend.”

“And me? How do you feel about me?” His voice turns softer but those eyes get even tenser.

“You know how I feel about you.” I soften my voice too. How can he not fucking see it?

“Explain it.” He frowns, making me feel like he’s testing me.

“I’m here, aren’t I? … I came here to be with you because I didn’t want you to be alone.” I make a start at trying to put into words the way I feel about him.

“I like being alone.” He shrugs, purposely making this hard.

“I wanted to make you feel better. Today was tough on everyone, and I know Saul was your friend.” His eyes pull away from mine when they start tearing up. “Let me make you feel better, Ruckus.” I move closer so I can take his hand, but he backs away.

“Is that another thing that people who sleep together do?” he questions, looking hurt.

“It can be… It should be.”

Why do I feel as if he’s purposely trying to make me fuck up my words. Maybe I shouldn't have come here. He’s clearly angry, and after what happened it's to be expected. Did I really think that I could be the one to fix him tonight? I’m such a fool.

“I guess I just wanted you to know that the Josh thing, ain’t a thing.” I smile sadly, before rushing past him, and leaving through the door.

Istare at the door after she slams it. My heart cold, and sunken to my stomach.

She came here to do a nice thing, and I just threw it back in her face. I should leave, she’d be far better off without me, but I’m far too selfish for that.

“Freya,” I call out as I rush after her, swinging it open and finding her sitting on the top step again. She’s sobbing into her hands, and I hate that I’m the cause of that as I move up behind her.

“Stand up,” I whisper.

“I was gonna call someone but I haven’t got a?—”

“Stand up,” I tell her again, this time in a voice stern enough for her to raise her hand and use the stair rail to drag her back on her feet.

“You're right, I was jealous,” I confess, swallowing my pride before she turns to face me. Her pout lifts into a smile.

“Knew it.” She shrugs, shoving past me, and strutting back into my apartment.

“You got nothin’ to say back to that?” I feel all my anger bubble back to the surface as I chase her inside, slamming the door and wondering how this girl manages to get me so reactive.

“What do you want me to say?” She shrugs, taking a seat on the couch and picking up the pizza menu from the coffee table. “I don’t mind what we get as long as we add extra cheese to it.” She smiles up at me as if all that's happening between us is perfectly normal.

“Grrrrr.” I throw my hands in the air and head to the bathroom so I can take a shower.

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