Page 47 of Ruckus

“It would be tight on the houseboat, and she and Eden get on so well I wouldn’t wanna test their friendship with all that pressure.” Wrath sounds as if he’s coming round to the idea. “Ya sure?” he checks again, still not convinced.

“I’m sure, but you can break the news and tell her that she got a new roommate.” I smile, wishing I didn’t have to lie or deceive him. I wanna tell him that there’s no better man for the job of taking care of his sister than me. But Freya’s right, he’s got too much going on right now to have to learn that his best friend’s a liar and has betrayed him.

I’ve sat and thought a lot about how I’d break it to him. I know he should understand since he’s shacked up with our president’s sister. Tawk made no secret of his intentions with Willow, and Wrath seemed to accept it. But with me it would be different. I’m not just his club brother, I’m his best fuckin’ friend.

“That means a lot to me, I really owe ya.” He pulls me in for a hug, then releases me and heads straight for the door.

“Guess we better get this outta the way.” He heads toward Freya, who’s dutifully bathing Josh’s knuckles in a bowl of water. The rest of the boys are back and the clubhouse is much fuller than it was before.

“Freya, it ain’t safe for you to be here alone,” Wrath starts, and she looks disappointed as she stands up with the bowl still in her hands. “I’ve spoken to Ruckus and he’s gonna look out for ya, he’ll be taking the couch in your room, and I don’t want you making it hard on him.” She looks across to me in shock.

“Ruckus.”

“I don’t want to hear no complaining. This is for your safety. He’s got commitments at the gym and if he asks you to stay there, I don’t want you to argue. I ain’t losing another sister, Freya. I’ve trusted this man with my life since I was fifteen, and now I’m trusting him with yours.”

“Jeez, no need to be so dramatic about it.” Freya sighs, and I can see that her response shocks him. It shocks me a little too. We made an arrangement last night to be friends with benefits, now we’ll be spending every night together for the foreseeable, surely that’s gotta piss her off.

“Good.” Wrath looks relieved that he doesn’t get the protest he was expecting, and she heads over to Eden and Freya, quickly getting back to work, seeing to the hero of the fucking hour.

“Will ya look at how that worked out?” Sinner slaps me hard on the back and laughs darkly. I got no choice but to ignore him,‘cause I ain’t got a comeback. I’m a bad person, I won’t even try to deny it, but if that's what it takes to spend another night beside her, holding her in my arms and protecting her from the bad in this world, then I’ll happily be the worst of ‘em.

“Do you think Josh is gonna be okay?” I ask Ruckus once we’re alone in my room. “He took a lot of pills tonight for the pain he was in, and I don’t think those shots of tequila were a good idea.” I contemplate going back to his room and checking that he got into bed okay.

“He’s gonna be fine,” Ruckus assures me, kicking off his boots and watching me reach on top of the wardrobe for the spare blanket.

“What are you doin’?”

“I’m making up a bed on the couch.” I puff up a pillow and lay out the blanket.

“It was sweet of you to agree to?—”

“Are you seriously expecting me to sleep on the couch?” He steps toward me, with his shirt now off and his jeans open.

“Of course, I’m not.” I look down at that strong, muscle-ripped body that he works so hard on and forget my trail of thought. “But we should make it at least look as if you are.” I look back up from his chest and smile. Ruckus isn’t stupid, he knows the effect he has on me, and the grin on his face tells me he loves it.

“And for the record, Aaron didn’t have to make me agree to anything. I suggested it.” He takes another step closer and lingers his lips close to mine.

“This was your idea?” I step away from him when those lips start to distract me.

“Yeah, and you're making me suspect you don’t think it’s a good one.” He’s looking real serious as he stares back at me.

“I don’t know if it is,” I admit. “We can barely go five minutes without an argument, the only time we ever seem to get along is when we’re…” My eyes peer over to the bed where he spent most of last night buried deep inside me. Yes, it was incredible, but all my problems are still problems and Ruckus can’t fix them.

“Then we’ll just have to make sure we do lots of that.” He makes up the space I put between us and takes my face in his hands. “It was either this or you move into the houseboat. Wrath is worried about you… I’m worried about you, and after that stunt you pulled with Alicia earlier, can you blame us? That was damn right stupid.”

“Ruckus, I get that there's a threat and I kinda like that you're worried about me, but I can’t be kept here like a prisoner, and how are you supposed to protect me when I leave?”

His eyes drop to the floor, like I just made him angry.

“Why are you so set on leaving, why can’t you stay?” He eventually looks back up at me with them looking much softer.

“Because I don’t belong here, this place may have changed, but it’s still full of bad memories.” I take his wrists and gently slide them away, then I step into the bathroom so I don’t have to explain what those memories are.

“Freya, you know, however bad it is, you can tell me,” he calls after me.

I turn back around and fake him a smile that says maybe one day. But it’s never going to happen, my secrets are going to the grave with me.

Nine Years Ago

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