Page 33 of Ruckus

“Finding these killers would make me happy. Knowing that there's some sick fuck out there targeting women and the club… I’m thinking maybe it’s best Freya does leave,” I say my thoughtsout loud, resting my elbows on the table and sinking my head into my hands.

“I think we both know that’s not what you want.” My uncle’s smiling when I look back up at him. “You’ve been here for two days avoiding this situation, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you need to go back to the club. Talk to her, talk to Aaron, and figure something out. You deserve to be happy, and the past…” He reaches across the table and drags my mom’s case file away from me. “Is in the past.”

I know he’s right, I can’t go on like this. If Freya left town again, it would tear me apart. I have to talk to her, but that will involve swallowing a whole lotta pride.

I don’t know how to begin explaining to Aaron that, five years ago, I betrayed him, or that I’ve been obsessed with his little sister ever since.

“You’re right.” I get up and move to the refrigerator, taking out two beers and placing them on the table. “But I can worry about that tomorrow. Tonight, I’m gonna kick your ass at poker,” I tell him, retaking my seat.

I have the club, but all Vin has is me. He was married to his job, and after my dad died, he devoted all his spare time into taking care of my mom and me. Now Mom’s dead and I don’t need taking care of anymore, I know he gets lonely. Though he’d never admit it.

“You know I was in love with a girl once.” His words seem to come outta nowhere, I’m not even sure that he meant to say them out loud.

“What happened?” I frown because this is the first I ever heard of it.

“I did what you're doing right now and avoided her, I tried to deny how I felt for a really long time and I ended up losing her.” He laughs to himself as he picks up the deck and starts to shuffle.“I guess what I’m telling you is don’t end up like me.” He looks up at me and smiles sadly.

“Who was she?”

“Who she was don’t matter, the fact no one came after her don’t matter either. Maybe God taught me the lesson so I could pass it on to you. I see you're scared, that means you care. It means she’s the right one, and when you find that right one, she won’t make you weak, she’ll make you stronger.” He deals the cards and leaves me wondering if what he says might be true.

Three days. It’s been three days since Ruckus walked out of this clubhouse with that skank, and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. I’ve been trying so hard not to show how mad I am about it but it’s getting real tough.

“Hey,” Finn interrupts my overthinking brain when he sits beside me. “I heard you ran away with the circus while I was gone.” He nudges me with his shoulder.

“It’s not the circus, it’s a travelling show,” I correct him, trying to act normal despite the fact my father killed his. I have no idea why he’s being so nice to me.

“My bad… still sounds pretty cool.” He lights himself a smoke. “So what made you leave here? I always figured you had it easy. Club princess, Daddy's little girl. Life must have been pretty good.”

“Yeah, well you figured wrong,” I bite back. Suddenly I feel under a spotlight, like he’s trying to pry information out of me.

“Relax, I’m just making conversation.” He laughs, resting back on his chair and looking up to the sky.

“You ever wonder how things would have been if you didn’t leave?”

Now I know he’s diggin’.

“I got somewhere I need to be.” I stand up and start heading toward the clubhouse and when Raze’s dad, Vex, opens the door I run right into him.

“I’m so sorry.” I drop to the floor to pick up the photos that I knocked out of his hand and are now scattered all over the floor. I see one of my father, proudly standing outside the front of the clubhouse with all his members behind him and it makes me feel sick.

Davy and a young looking Finn are in the background among them all, and you can see by the looks on their faces which men my father had under his control. I have to believe that what Polly said was true, and that they are all dead, especially if I’m gonna consider staying here.

Seeing the picture brings back all the hate and disgust I feel toward them. I don’t think Aaron or Raze know everything my father was involved in. Something tells me if they did they would be dead too. It goes beyond Cliff Adams, and beyond this club.

“What’s all this?” I place the photo back in the box he’s holding, and realize that all the photos have my father in.

“Ain’t much an old decrepit man can do around here.” He smiles at me sadly. “Raze and your brother decided they wanted any trace of him gone. I’ve been clearing out the stock rooms,” he explains. “Listen, darlin’, I think Cliff was the worst of ‘em, but he was still your father. If you want any of thes?—”

“No.” I shake my head quickly. “I don’t need any reminders of that man.” I quickly barge past him and into the clubhouse, and when I see Saint sitting at the bar I head straight for him.

“I need a ride.” Normally, I would ask him to borrow his car and I’d drive myself, but I know my brother would be furious if I left this club compound alone.

“Sure, I can give ya a ride.” He gets up from the stool and crushes out his cigarette, then moving closer to me he blows his smoke directly into my face.

“Sinner?” I stab a guess

“Still wanna take that ride?” he checks.

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