Page 27 of Ruckus

“Because of you,” she yells, making me instantly release her from my grip. “I can’t stay here because of you. Because we both know Aaron would never forgive you if he knew what happened, and let’s face it, Ruckus, you need my brother a lot more than I do.” She catches me off guard, leaving me speechless, and as she backs away toward the door. I let her see that her words have hurt me.

I’m done caring if that makes me look weak or vulnerable to her. Freya’s always known the effect she has on me. She thrives on it, and as she turns her body and opens the door, I know that despite all those words being true, she’s still keeping something from me.

I will find out what it is.

I give myself ten minutes and two cigarettes to cool off before I head back inside, and when I see her sitting at the table looking a lot less happy than she did before I curse myself for feeling guilty.

There’s still so much I want to say to her, I wanna scold her for leaving here today and going back to him. I want to remind her of how dangerous it could have been, but instead I move over to the corner of the room where I can be alone.

“Hey, honey.” Trinity stalks her way over like a praying mantis and when she sits on the seat beside me, she curls her legs around so they rest across my lap. “You look like you need cheering up.”

“I’m good.” I massage the bridge of my nose and try to expel all the feelings from my head. Maybe Freya is right and she should get the hell outta here. If she did, then maybe I could start thinking straight again.

“C’mon, baby, it’s been so long since you had me.” Trinity’s hand wraps around my shoulder and she squeezes all the tension outta it. I look across the room and see Freya watching, and she may try to act stubborn but her eyes don’t lie. She doesn’t like what she’s seeing.

“Sure.” I tap Trinity’s legs so she lifts them down, then standing to my feet I offer her my hand.

I need a reminder of who I am tonight. Females can’t hurt me, and I sure as hell don’t pine over ‘em. Ruckus doesn’t have feelings. He fucks. I forget. He repeats. Trinity smiles as I lead her toward the door and when I open it for her and see the disappointment in Freya’s face, I ignore the voice in my head that tells me to stop. I can’t let emotions get the better of me, especially not when I know I’m going to lose her all over again. I have to prove to her and to myself that she’s right.

She can’t stay here.

Trinity leads me toward her room at the motel and when I pass Saul sitting out on one of the plastic chairs by himself, staring at his phone, I make a mental note to check in with him. He’s been acting strange these past few weeks and is being far too quiet.

“Fuck, I’ve been waiting for this.” Trinity slams her back against the door to her room, dragging me by my shirt so she can kiss me. Her lips leave a tacky film all over my lips and I can’thelp thinking that Freya’s are so much softer. She also makes that cute little humming noise that I’ve never got outta my head.

“You gonna get this big, fat dick hard for me?” Trinity slides her hand over the front of my jeans and gets no reaction from it at all.

“Let’s just get inside.” I feel behind her for the handle so I can open the door, then forcing her through it, I get back to kissing her. I need to stay focused on what's happening here. I need to fuck all the frustration from my body.

Trinity pulls my cut off my shoulders and starts ripping at my belt, but before she can get my jeans open I step back.

“Can we just… can we slow things down a little?” I swallow thickly, noticing how shocked she looks.

“Okay?” She seems confused by the concept, but still goes with it, kicking off her heels and sitting herself on the edge of the bed. “You wanna watch me finger myself?” She opens her legs wide and slips her red painted nail onto her panties

“I don’t know what I want,” I admit, sliding my hand over my mouth and trying to get that look of disappointment I just saw on Freya’s face outta my head.

“Well, you can have anything you like with me, baby.” Trinity giggles, and it makes me wanna throw my fist at the wall. “Come on, we both know slow ain’t your style, Ruck.” She lays back on the bed and taps the mattress beside her.

“I just need a minute.” I rush to the bathroom and lock the door after me, taking a look at my reflection and wondering who the fuck I am.

Why am I in here? I should be balls deep, not givin’ a fuck. Instead I’m locked in a bathroom acting like a fuckin’ pussy. Still hung up on a girl I slept with five fuckin’ years ago.

“Jesus.” I grip the sides of the basin so tight I swear I’ll crack the porcelain.

“Ruck, are you okay in there?” I ignore Trinity's voice when it calls from the other side of the door and take out the coin that Freya just returned to me. She kept it all this time, she looked out for me. I must mean something to her, and although I don’t deserve it, it makes my chest swell with pride.

“Fuck,” I growl to myself, toying with the coin, deciding if I should let it make the decision for me.

Tails, I fuck Freya Adams outta my head tonight and be done with this shit. Heads, I get the fuck out of here, go home and let her fuck with my thoughts for the rest of the night.

The decision’s no longer mine once I flip the coin, and after I let it land in the basin I see tails looking back up at me. Snatching the thing back up, I tuck it back in my pocket and look in the mirror one last time. “There ya are?” Trinity is standing bare fuckin’ naked in front of me when I open the door and the sinful smile drops from her face when I march straight past her, pick my cut up off the floor, and see myself out.

Damn Freya Adams, and the decisions she has me making.

“Ican’t believe you went back there.” Eden looks stunned as Alicia gives her a recount of our afternoon. While I’m too distracted by the woman who is splaying her legs all over Ruckus to respond. “Does Aaron know you did that? Freya…Freya?” Her voice gets louder and I quickly turn to face her.

“Sorry?” I shake myself out of it.

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