Page 68 of The Devil's Ice

“I get what you’re saying. I do. WhatI’msaying is that it would beworseif the MC’s enemies believed that we knew everything, if they thought that taking us and hurting us would mean that they got information that they could use against the club. We’d have targets on our backs as big as the moon, and believe me, there would bewaymore victims and tragedies than we’ve suffered so far.”

“You’re saying that what’s happened so far is the best case scenario.”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

“Shit.”

“I’malsosaying, that by choosing our men, we’ve alsochosento enter into this life with them. Me, you, Elle, Jo.” Zoe held her eyes, really willing Vixen to understand this part. “We’vechosento stand by them, and trust them, even when we don’t know or fully understand what’s happening. We’ve chosen to trust what they tell us, and to trust what they don’t tell us, and to trust them to know the difference. You get me? It’s about choice and trust – and just not knowing what itisthat we don’t know. It’s tough, I’m not going to lie, so if you decide to do this with Ice all the way, then you need to understand that you’re signing up for a whole lot of unanswered questions.” She gestured around the room. “And for crises that result in safe houses and bodyguards, and you don’t even totally knowwhyyou’re in the damn safe house… but you pack your bags on short notice and you go with the strangers who are tasked with protecting you from who-knows-what.”

“And then you wait.”

“And then you wait,” Zoe echoed. “I made my choice when I married Scars Innis, and there are repercussions for that decision. I stand by them now, even as I find them difficult. The part that I struggle with is the danger that it exposes my daughter to, and all I can do is hope that she’s never the target again – Scars assured me that kids are always off-limits, and nobody canbelievewhat Viper Grant has done. Even by one-percenter MC standards, the man is an absolute fucking monster lunatic. I’ve heard that The Hellions have lost a lot of support for involving Keira and Hannah and Joe in business, and that quite a few MC’s who hated Wolf for pulling The Road Devils out of the life are actuallybackon his side now. No way our club goes back to the one-percenter life, but they’ve been embraced by its members anyway.”

“Wow. Seriously?”

“I know, right?” Zoe shrugged. “For a bunch of guys with no rules or respect for the law, and who thought Wolf was an asshole for abandoning the world they love so much, they seem to forgive and forget when kids are dragged into the whole mess.”

“Any chance that some of these MC’s might be helping our guys over in Utah?”

“That’s the kind of thing that I don’t expect to know,” Zoe said. “Scars wouldnevername-drop another MC. Like I said, by choosing to be his, I agreed to get limited information.”

“I’ve made my choice too.”

“You sure?” Zoe cocked her blonde head. “Because I don’t know if things are going to get better, or if they’re going to getworsebefore they get better. You’ve already been badly hurt… you willing to take that risk again, all to be with Ice Johansson?”

And now Vixen thought about the night before, after their campfire date under the stars. Ice had taken her home, undressed her, then held her close to him under the shower spray, running his large hands over and over her body: her hair, her back, her breasts, her stomach. He’d washed her, dried her, his hands caressing her skin as if she was made of the rarest porcelain, the heat in his eyes telling her that she was beautiful. Then he’d helped her into a long t-shirt and then into her little pillow fortress, before undressing himself and climbing into bed next to her.

He’d kissed her goodnight, the softest, sweetest kiss that she’d ever be able to imagine, told her to get some rest… and every time she’d opened her eyes, unable to relax properly during the long night, worrying about what the next few days were going to bring, he’d been awake and watching her, those ice-blue eyes warm with affection. And every time their eyes met in the half-darkness, he’d reached out to her, whispered that everything was going to be OK and she should get some sleep.

Vixen looked down at the gold band on Zoe’s left hand, reallylookedat it, and thought about what it meant. Never in the whole of her life had she thought about marriage as anything except an archaic religious ceremony, something that her parents and church had lectured and hectored her about from the time she could walk. She’d always considered it a trap, a prison, something that had been shoved down her throat. Her teenaged rebellion against religion wasn’t just a rejection of the guilt and shame that she’d been exposed to for having sexual desires – it was a rejection ofeverythingto do with her parents’ values and beliefs. Including marriage.

But looking at Zoe, thinking about Scars, Vixen knew that their commitment to each other wasn’t about following a bunch of commandments or rules from a holy book. Zoe wasn’t submitting to Scars because he was a man and the head of the household, and she was a weak and frail vessel in need of guidance and direction. Zoe didn’t get married because she’d felt any societal pressure to be a wife and mother, or because she was incapable of surviving without a man in her bed and her life

No, Zoe and Scars loved each other, and they loved Keira. They were a family.

Suddenly, Vixen longed for a family of her own. She hadn’t ever had one, not really, because her parents had never really accepted her or listened to her – but Angela moving to Seattle had truly made Vixen feel not just orphaned, but abandoned. Alone. She’d tried to fill the emptiness with great sex, thoroughly enjoyed with a parade of devastatingly hot men, and it had worked for a good long while. It had been what she’d wanted and she’d pursued it with zero guilt or shame.

But now she was tired of the revolving door of men, and of only meeting Ice in bar back rooms, even if they were exclusive. Vixen was fed up of waking up alone, going to bed alone, sleeping alone. Now she wanted something else.

She wanted what she’d had for the previous two nights: she wanted Ice in her home. Taking care of her, and talking to her, and asking her about herself. She wanted to worry about him, and hear about his life, and trust him to come back to her because that’s what he’d promised, and Ice was a lot of things, many of them scary and dangerous – but he didn’t lie to Vixen.

And so she said to Zoe:

“Yes. Yes, I’m sure that I want to risk it for him. I choose Ice… if he’ll have me.”

Chapter Twenty-one

King’s Men Safe House

Evanston, Wyoming

“Jesus, King,” Scars said as he walked into the large warehouse with the world-class security system. “How many safe houses have yougotscattered around the United States?”

King grinned. “Let’s say it’s more than forty-five, but less than fifty.”

Scars whistled. “Damn impressive, man. I guess I’m just starting to get some sense of the scope of your whole King’s Men operation. You folks don’t mess around.”

“We don’t have the luxury of messing around,” King said grimly. “Not when we’re talking about the kind of shit that we’re going up against now.”

---