Page 76 of The Devil's Scars

Scars saw the confusion all over her face, saw the fear in her eyes, and he found himself wondering, yet again, what she was hiding behind that gorgeous mask.

“Zoe. Look at me. Right now.”

As a final, desperate act of defense and defiance, she shut her eyes.

“No.” So, so impossibly gently, Scars kissed her eyelids. “Look at me, baby.”

“I – I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because.” Her voice broke as the truth escaped from her without warning. “If I do, then I’ll crack wide open. You’ll see me, Scars, and then I’ll just – I’ll tell you everything.”

“And would that be so bad?” Scars traced the curve of her lips, knowing that he’d already seen her in ways that she had no idea that she’d given away. When she came under his fingers, his mouth, his cock, she gave herself so completely. He’d told her the other night in his office that he’d seen her soul shining in those green depths, and that hadn’t been a lie. “Letting me know you? See you?”

“Yes.” Zoe shuddered at his tender touch, halfway lost again already. “It would be the worst thing I can think of.”

“Why?” he said, baffled. “Why the hell do you think this?”

Zoe shook her head again, regaining control now. Enough of this bullshit; just enough. She’d been tap-dancing around it with this man for weeks now, blowing hot and then cold, running to him and having mind-blowing orgasms, then shutting down, and running away. What she was doing was immature, and pathetic, and unfair – to both of them. Time to come clean, to just lay it on the line. Sure enough, he’d leave her alone as soon as he heard the truth.

She opened her eyes, and he saw that the armor was back up now. The heart-wrenching flashes of hurt, fear and fragility that he’d seen in those astonishing eyes were long gone, and all that remained was Zoe’s usual cool, icy reserve.

My rose has returned to her little ice cage. She’s encased herself and made herself untouchable, again.

Hurt and angry at her retreat, he wanted to keep her here until she saw that he wasn’t going to hurt her, fucking not ever. He also wanted to scoop her up into his arms, take her home, and hold her until she felt safe enough to tell him anything and everything. But her next words kicked him in the balls and ripped his heart out.

“What I’ve been trying to tell you is that I can’t trust you, Scars,” she said quietly. “I can’t count on you.”

“You can’t –”

“No.” Her tone was final, closed. “I can’t.”

He paused for a few seconds, swallowing his slowly-building-hurt. “Why are you saying this to me, Zoe? What have I ever done to make you think that you can’t trust me, or count on me?”

“It’s not what you’ve done. It’s who you are.”

“And who am I?”

“A Road Devil. An MC member.” Her green eyes were sharp. “A guy who thinks of women as possessions, and club property, and easy fucks in a back room. A guy who has a shady-as-hell past as Kirk Jensen’s lap dog and best buddy, and I’d lay money, a guy who’s killed people. A guy that I don’t want around any small child, and most especially not mine. ”

“OK, stop right there.” Now he was seriously pissed. “How the fuck can you have me so wrong?”

She shrugged, struggling to stay nonchalant. Not so damn easy to do when held tight against this man’s hard body, but she was determined to give it her best shot. “I don’t think I do have you wrong.”

“Oh, you sure as hell do.” He took a deep breath, tightened his grip, and launched right on in. “First up, baby? I don’t think of women as possessions, or brainless things, or holes to fuck. I’d never insult you like that, and you’re a real piece of work to think you can insult me like that. Second, yeah, I have a shady past setting up deals for the financial stability of the club, and yeah, I’ve sure as fuck killed people. Just like every other man in this place – including Wolf, Saint, Cole. If you want to know the circumstances, I’m happy to tell you, and then I think you’ll agree that – in every single damn case – it was kill or be killed.”

Zoe looked away from those burning eyes, hating the treacherous little burst of hope that jumped up in her chest. Oh, God, a part of her wanted to believe that Scars was actually a decent guy. Dammit.

“Finally – and this is the big one, so you listen good and close – I’d never do anything to hurt Keira, and you’d better get that straight in your goddamned head rightthisminute. Of all the things that you’ve said to me, accused me of, flung in my face, that is – by fucking far – the absolute worst. For you to think for one damn second that I’d ever put her in danger, or lay a finger on her in violence, or… I don’t know…even shout at her or scare her, that’s the lowest thing that you could ever say to me. You’re way out of line, Zoe, and you owe me an apology for that, if for nothing else.”

“I…”

“Actually, you know what?” He shoved her away from him now, got to his feet. “Forget it. For real, this time.” He retrieved his shirt and cut, threw them both over his head and on his body in record time. “I know we’ve had our squabbles and arguments, and then we both kinda cool off, and talk, and hot talk turns to kissing and then we’re all over each other. At least, until you decide that I’m an asshole once again, and then you throw shit in my face, and run away and leave me wondering what the hell I did wrong this time. Then you develop fucking amnesia, and come one back and kiss me, and then we just go into a whole new damn cycle.”

“Scars…”

“I’m done,” he said abruptly. “I’m sick of it. You’ve clearly made up your mind about me, though God knows why, because I’ve been nothing but decent to you. I don’t know what you’re holding against me, but I’m truly disappointed that you haven’t had the fucking guts to just come out and tell me. Let me explain or defend myself, and if I couldn’t do that, I’d at least know what the issue was.” He turned, and his back was huge and furious. “Instead, you’ve chosen the coward’s way. You attack and run, and never ever tell me what I did. Well, you wanted me to leave you alone, and this time, you got your wish. Dragging Keira into it – that was the line that I never thought you’d cross, and you did. ”

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