“Does that mean I shouldn’t want to kill him?” she shot back.
“Of course not.” Mama leaned forward, her eyes blazing. “Believe me, I want him fuckingdeadfor everything he has done to you. But if he is your mate, then I’m on the outside. We all are. That’s how it works. I would be a terrible mother to you if I don’t make sure you understand before you kill him.”
“Understand what?”
Mama leaned back, sighing. “I should have rid you of your foolish, childish notions a long time ago, Naya. That is solely my fault, but I didn’t think we would be back here… back at a time when….” Mama swallowed, her eyes unfocused. “The Known Lands has become so much more than it used to be—it’s almost unrecognizable in that regard. I’d just hoped….” Her voice petered out and her gaze lowered.
An uncomfortable nervousness jangled in Naya’s stomach in the silence that followed. It suddenly occurred to her that Mama had been acting strangely since she’d told them about what happened in the healing room. “Mama? What is it?”
Mama lifted her head, and their eyes locked again. She spoke slowly and carefully. “Every time an Omega comes to me for refuge, I make sure she understands what she will be giving up if she decides not to try to make things work with her true mate.”
“I know,” Naya said irritably. “You taught me all the processes you go through, Mama. But this isn’t like that. I know what I’m giving up.”
“How can you when you’ve been completely in denial about him this whole time?”
The words were like a slap to her already injured face. “What do you mean?”
Mama’s eyes never left Naya’s face. “You thought your true mate would be exactly what you expected him to be, Naya. You were never open to anything less.” She gripped Naya’s hands harder. “But even if you’d met him in a pairing meeting, there was never a guarantee that he would be a suitable mate to you, or even a decent Alpha with the morals and outlook that you value. It didn’t guarantee he would have an agreeable nature or be suited to rule alongside you. It didn’t mean he would even be someone who could support you and give you the confidence you were desperately seeking. You built those expectations into something enormous—something that crippled you, and now I need to make sure they’re not still clouding you.”
“Clouding me from what?”
“From the reality of what being with your true mate actually means. He is your enemy, yes, but he is the only one who you’ll ever be your true self with.” Mama held her gaze for a moment, a strange struggle happening on her face. Then she straightened. “That forest that you love so much, the one you retreat into every day? That is the forest I flew over to escape your father.”
Something jolted in Naya’s stomach. She stared at Mama, dread closing in around her. “Escape?”
Mama nodded. “The window of his old bedroom overlooks that forest. It was the first time I’d used magic to carry me like that, and it was incredibly dangerous to attempt at that height. I was terrified, but I had to risk it. I was willing to die trying.”
Naya’s mind raced at the implications of what she was saying. Mama escaped Papa from his bedroom? That meant… She stared at Mama, seeing the reluctant truth in her expression. Her breathing became unsteady as she tried to come to terms with what Mama was saying. “Papa… kept you captive?”
Mama held Naya’s gaze. “Our relationship began similar to many of the Omegas that come to us for guidance.”
“And you said nothing to us?” Naya exclaimed in disbelief. Did that mean everything she and her siblings had thought about her parents was a lie?
“It’s no one’s business but ours,” Mama said sternly. “What happens between an Omega and her Alpha cannot be judged by anyone on the outside. There are a multitude of things that play a part in that connection. You know that.”
Naya breathed heavily as her thoughts raced. She did know that. But she’d never thought…. “If our father is a… an….” She could barely say the word. “…abuser.” Her eyes welling with tears at just the idea of it. “We should know, Mama.”
“Does he seem like an abuser to you?” Mama asked.
Naya’s eyes lowered. Of course he didn’t.
“What happened between us before you were born changed us both. We first found each other before we even understood anything about ourselves.” Mama pressed her lips together. “That is a phase many Alpha and Omega relationships go through, and if they survive it, it strengthens them. The experience helped shape me into someone who can understand what other Omegas go through when they suffer at the hands of their mate, and suffer the unbearable guilt for still yearning for that mate. I’m grateful for that experience. But what happened back then has nothing to do with your relationship with your father now. No one can say he isn’t an exceptional husband and father.”
Naya frowned. “But… did he apologize? How did he?—”
“That’s between us, Naya,” Mama said gently. “And it made us stronger than I ever would have thought. I’m just trying to explain that our relationship didn’t begin the way you see us now. We overcame a mountainous challenge, learned what was most important to us, and discovered how to be together before you were born. Being true mates doesn’t mean you are automatically perfectly suited in every way, yet you have based your expectation of your mate on exactly that by, focusing on your father and my happy years together and not how we started.”
An inkling of dread fluttering into Naya’s stomach. She clenched her teeth, embracing the sharp ache it caused her face. “So you think I should reconsider if I have a future with that monster?”
“No.” Mama shook her head firmly. “That isn’t my main reason for talking to you about this, no. If you truly believe your Alpha deserves to die for everything that he’s done to you, no one will argue with that. But you know more than any other that more than half of the Omegas that come to seek sanctuary with us return to their alphas happily. I wouldn’t be a decent mother, or Omega, or empress if I neglected to point that out to my own daughter.”
“This isn’t that,” Naya said, stiff with annoyance. “This Alpha is unlike any other we know. If an Omega had come to us after being treated the way that Akoro treated me, we’d never send her back to him without some sort of intervention to ensure his behavior changed.”
Mama sighed. “What do you think I’m trying to do right now?”
“It sounds like you’re telling me to reconsider wanting him dead because I will never have the relationship I dreamed of if he dies. I have already come to terms with that, Mama. I have already mourned the loss of the mate I thought I’d have.”
“Your childish dream of your Alpha is not what we’re dealing with here.” Mama leaned forward, her eyes burning bright. “I’m talking about the reality of a hardened Alpha male who has his own thoughts and feelings and history. An Alpha who has decided that our empire owes him something and that he has a right to invade us. A formidable king not afraid to take on the Lox and her allies, who is not afraid of your father, and who is skilled in warfare and a loved leader of his people. He has shown he is willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and he’s smart because we didn’t know he was coming. None of that speaks to his ability or desire to be a good mate to you.”