Page 39 of Own to Obtain

Heat crept up Shaya’s neck but she didn’t break his gaze.

“I should have realized then that you were mine, but I didn’t,” he said, his eyes boring into hers. “I wasn’t prepared for you.”

Shaya frowned. “What you mean?”

“I had to stay extremely focused on what I needed to do to win the seat, because if I don’t—”

“People will die,” Shaya finished. “I understand.”

“Correct. So I have trained myself to maintain complete focus on my goal, to know and follow the rules so no one can claim I am unsuitable or a cheat or a fluke.”

Shaya nodded, remembering that his father had said that.

“I have more odds stacked against me so I have been very careful. But you, Shaya…”

Shaya tiled her head, leaning slightly forward as his voice faded. “What about me?”

Kardos was silent for a long moment, and Shaya couldn’t interpret the look on his face. “You have been a significant distraction from the beginning,” he said finally. “The first time I completely lost my focus and forgot about everything, including the seat, was watching the ocean with you.”

Shaya’s eyes widened and she inhaled a breath.

“By the end of our journey, I had abandoned most of my responsibilities to help fuel the ship so I could have more time with you.”

Shaya stepped toward him, intrigued by his admission.

“The second time was after you told me you hated me,” he growled, sending a scatter of pinpricks up her arms. “The third was after you bit me.”

“But we were… you were in a rut. It’s not—”

“It still matters,” Kardos said sharply, his eye intense on hers. “The fourth time I lost focus was in the carriage after the blessing ritual. By that time, I could see the pattern and I tried to do whatever I could to minimize the impact. I stayed out of the house all day, I sent you to Rozalia, I didn’t talk to you more than I needed to. I went to my temple and asked Az Eshra to help me focus my mind—all I had to do was maintain that until I got the high chief’s seat, then I could be with you without reservation, without letting anyone down. But then you were attacked.”

His jaw clenched but he continued. “After that, nothing mattered but taking care of you, and I loved the time we spent together, Shaya. I fucking loved it.”

Shaya couldn’t help but smile at him.

“It was better than our ocean, better than the ship, because this time we were on our island—our home—and everything I witnessed during our trips on the tobo reinforced that you are as perfect as I always knew you were. And that you are mine.”

“I loved it too,” Shaya whispered.

Kardos’ eyes softened. “But once again, I had completely lost focus on the seat,” he said. “This time for weeks. There was no way I would win and my people were destined to suffer because I’d let them down. Tribe Nyek, the people who championed me to be shinno and tribe leader, would be put at risk. Their friends, and family, and children could die in the next blizzard. And it would be my fault.”

The uneasiness in Shaya’s chest returned as she realized the gravity of what he was saying.

“While I was looking for a solution, I came across an old law in our culture that had never made sense to me. And suddenly everything became so clear.” His eyes shone as he tilted his head. “I thought my task was to bring you back to the Southern Lands and give you away so I could get the seat. But it wasn’t. Then I thought it was to keep you protected and out of the way until I gained the seat. But it wasn’t that either. It wasn’t that at all.”

Shaya held her breath, waiting for him to continue.

“You were never a distraction, Shaya.Youare part of my calling too. My rightful place on the seatincludesyou and you are supposed to share it with me.”

Shaya bit her lip, trying to digest what he was saying.

“I found numerous references to the power an Alpha and Omega has in the Isles, and I realized we had it all along. Those trips we took on the tobo—the entire Isles heard about them. When I traveled to each of the islands recently, I found out that Islanders had tried to come to visit Nyek to come and see us ride. Many have made furs for you. A couple of families in Tribe Azzan are training a wolf pack just for you, and the tobo designers are racing to make us a new tobo we can both sit on. The people are excited that we exist and what we represent. We never needed my father’s blessings. When I was announced before I left, it didn’t really mean anything because you weren’t there being announced as well.”

Shaya exhaled the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “But the people, they behaved so…” She struggled to find the words.

“That is my fault. I announced that you would be for the Southern Lands when I should have announced that I had found my mate,” Kardos said. “I incorrectly set their expectations and they reacted as expected to what they perceived to be a deception. Lies are not received well by our people. Some of them thought that maybe you would be joining their tribe and they were looking forward to it. It took them time to get past it.”

“But.” Shaya lowered her eyes as she thought. “But I thought the high chief had to decide. I thought I had to be paired.”

---