Page 38 of Own to Obtain

“You talked to Treska about me,” she continued, barely hearing him, “you talked to Rozalia about me, but neverme. You drugged me. You simply plot and scheme and position me so that you can get the best result.” Now she had begun the words wouldn’t stop. “You didn’t touch me after you took me to see the chief, even after we… what we did in the carriage. You only truly spent time with me after I was attacked.” Tears began to fall but she pushed through the ache in her throat. “But then you put me in the Discovery Mountains, and I didn’t even know what I did to deserve that. I thought you liked the time we spent together. I thought maybe I had a home in Tribe Nyek, even with the attack, even without my sister. I thought… that I had you on my side, finally. But then you left me in there alone, and you were g-glad about it.”

She caught her sob and swallowed, brushing her tears away with her finger, and when she lifted her head, she was shocked to see the pained expression on Kardos’ face.

“Narves tay ash, kysm eshar.”Come to me, little bird.

The desperation in his hoarse voice twisted through her and Shaya actually took a few steps forward, longing for the comfort she knew he could give her—the comfort she could hear in his voice that he needed to give her—before realizing what she was doing.

“Narves tay ash, Shaya.”

Shaya stilled and shook her head, taking a few deep breaths as she lifted her gaze to look around the room. The emperor stood on one side holding his teary-eyed Omega in his arms, as both of them watched. The Eastern Land warriors stood tense around the room, weapons drawn watching Kardos, while the Southern Land warriors spread out in a semicircle around him, holding their own weapons, ready to attack. This was what she had caused, and she had to make sure it was worth it.

“There are some things I can never get from anyone else,” she said finally, bring her gaze back to Kardos. “But at least I won’t suffer.”

The silence was palpable; it crept around Shaya’s words making them resounding and final.

Kardos did not move, his eyes did not stray from hers though every muscle in his body looked coiled tight. Shaya watched him nervously, expecting him to lurch to his feet and grab for her in anger and rejection of everything she had said, but he remained still. And after a long moment passed, she exhaled slowly and quietly. Maybe he finally accepted it.

“When you are seen as someone who is dispensable,” Kardos said, his voice low, “no one puts any value in the things you say. Your words mean nothing, your ideas mean nothing—unless they are good, in which case they are taken and used without any credit given to whom it is due. I learned a long time ago that talking unnecessarily, and to the wrong people, only leads to problems.”

“You are referring to…” Shaya hesitated, thinking for a moment. “You are talking about your upbringing?”

Kardos didn’t reply but a cloud entered his eyes and his jaw clenched.

“Tell me,” Shaya said softly. “Please. Talk to me.”

Kardos exhaled heavily. “I was always the child that would die. No one put any value in anything I did or anything I said.”

Shaya thought back to what the Rozalia had said. It was obviously more than that, no one put any value in him as a person, not even enough to befriend with him. But that didn’t excuse the way he treated her.

“When I realized that I was the Alpha to become high chief, it wasn’t only because I wanted validation from anyone—of course, I had wanted that for a long time when I was younger and knew that it would come with the position, but it is more than a desire. It is a responsibility I am tasked with.”

Shaya nodded. “Rozalia said that the Alpha who believes he is the right one has a duty to ensure he gets the seat. It is a responsibility more than desire, because the wrong Alpha won’t know he is wrong for it.”

“Exactly. And in my case, the wrong Alphas are bolstered by the fact that I look the way I do, and those who have looked like me have not survived the Southern Lands. So they don’t even consider that I am the right one, even though I have proven myself a thousand times over. The journey has been more difficult for that reason, but it doesn’t mean it is not worth taking. There are some Alphas who view the seat of high chief as a trophy to cushion their egos, so they can live on the Central Island and boast to the other tribes. But that is a superficial view of the high chief, one that is dangerous to our people. The high chief keeps Southern Islanders alive. That’s it. That is his entire job. But… it’s more than a job.” He paused for a moment, searching for the words. “It is a calling,” he said finally. “A calling that can only be recognized by the one who is called.”

Shaya had never seen him look like this before; it was indescribable. His unique, gorgeous eyes were so dark and his face so solemn that it was almost as though she was looking at a part of him she only had glimpses of before.

“When Az Eshra first made it clear to me that I was next,” he said after a moment, “I rejected the idea. How could I be the one to lead when my people generally devalue everything about me? But I discovered I have something in me that strives to succeed, strives to be the best, strives to find ways for Southern Islanders to get the best out of the life we have. I have done it my entire life. And as I grew older, I came to discover that almost all of my people could see past their assumptions. Most of them recognize my achievements and have supported me. Of course, Tribe Nyek are the ones who see my achievements the most. They can recognize the qualities that would benefit the Southern Lands if I were to become high chief. The other tribes cannot see it as well because their shinnos and tribe leaders tried to convince them I am unsuitable. But they are beginning to see the truth, and it is not through talking that I prove it to them, it is through action. So I do not make a habit of talking.”

Shaya inched forward again. “I understand that, Kardos, that’s not what I—”

“I have been with many women.”

A sharp ugliness cut through Shaya’s chest, but before she had time to register it, he was speaking again.

“It is common in the Southern Lands that we openly share ourselves until we start our lives with our paired mate. I have never been unpopular in that regard.”

Shaya lowered her face, an uneasiness twisting through her chest. She already had an idea that was the case but it didn’t make it easy to hear.

“But I have never spoken to any of them the way I speak to you.”

Shaya lifted her head, blinking.The way he spoke to her?

“The first time that I have spoken intimately, to anyone, was you.”

She thought back to the ship, when he would mutter those Mayaros words she didn’t understand in his gorgeous low tone.

“I was impressed by your strength, Shaya. In our culture, telling someone to find strength is a sign you believe in them, because there is still strength to be found within them even if they don’t know it.” He inclined his head forward slowly, the look in his eyes changing as his head lowered. “And then… I had other things I was moved to say.”

---