Page 37 of Own to Obtain

“But why did you punish me at all?” Shaya asked. “Some of what you did… it was unfair, Kardos. And cruel.”

“Maybe so,” Kardos said, inclining his head. “But it was necessary.”

Shaya shook her head. “It was never necessary. If you had told me, I would have done it correctly, but you didn’t even speak my own language so I could understand.”

Kardos inclined his head. “It was necessary for you, Shaya. How do you expect to raise our children if you don’t understand the culture they live in? If you cannot speak their language? If you don’t understand how and why they must learn by punishment, how they will learn about their world around them, how they will be inducted into the life they are to lead? How are you to mother those children if you don’t understand?”

Something twisted in her stomach and her breath caught in her throat. “You want me to have your children?”

“Of course I do,” he growled.

A warm burst of lightness cascaded in Shaya’s chest, only to be dulled by her next thought. “And you were planning this when you were training me?”

Kardos’ shoulders tensed. “No. I knew you would be a mother—I hadn’t yet realized it would be my children you would raise.” He paused, his eyes running over her. “But I trained you as if you would be.”

Shaya was quiet for a moment. “I still could have learned without the pain,” she insisted.

“No,” Kardos said, gravely. “You couldn’t have, Shaya. People do not always fully understand the gravity of what they are taught. Many say they understand when they don’t. They lie or change their minds or don’t truly grasp the full implications of what is being discussed. Observation and testament through others is a better way to learn. It has been proven. And that is how everyone who truly understands the Southern Lands is taught.”

Shaya titled her head. “Do you think I’ve lied to you?”

“No. But I would never have been sure just by talking to you. Do you understand?” There was something in his eyes that seemed to be urging her. “You come from a different Land. It was important for me to impress your true culture upon you, and I didn’t have time to debate it or go by your word.”

“My true culture?”

“Our culture, Shaya.”

Shaya was silent.

“Even now, you still don’t understand why you had to learn that way,” he continued. “You will only understand when you come back to our Land and see what it is like during the blizzards. That is the only time you will gain a true understanding.”

Shaya squeezed her fingers together hard, frustration agitating her. He was still trying to make excuses, still trying to get her back to his land without any true explanation or evidence of the suffering he had caused.

He must have sensed it, because he said, “There is a blizzard approaching Nyek as we speak. Come back with me, and let me show you.”

Shaya shook her head. “I can’t.”

“You belong withme!” Kardos growled harshly. “Where is it you intend to go where you can get what I can give you? I prove it during our bond connection, Shaya. I am your Alpha.”

Tears formed in Shaya’s eyes. “So?” she whispered.

Kardos’ face hardened and his fists clenched, his voice dangerously low when he spoke. “What did you say?”

“Do you know what I learned today? Omegas have been hiding from Alphas for years. Even with everything you give us, we hide from you. Because it is the only way we can thrive.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way—”

“It already is.” Shaya’s voice trembled but she forced herself to speak. Now was the only time, the last time, she could say any of this to him. “Even when we were together, you didn’t talk to me. Younevertalk to me, Kardos, not truly. You kept me in your bedroom so you could use me when you came home.”

“I donotuse you!” Kardos thundered, his eyes flashing. “You are my woman. I do not use you when I come home and need you in my arms. Or your taste on my tongue. Or my name on your breath. I do not use you when I need to tuck you into me where you belong, to watch you fall asleep or kiss your eyelids so you have dreams that will settle you. That is myjob. To provide for you the way your Alpha should.”

“And you think that’s all I need? Regardless of how you hurt me?”

Kardos held himself still but when he opened his mouth to answer, she was speaking again.

“You don’t share your plans with me or explain anything about your culture beyond my role to ensure you become high chief. You never told me how my mistake to bite you damaged your situation so badly that you wouldn’t even see me for days after.”

“It wasn’t a mistake, Shaya.”