Page 15 of Own to Obtain

Shaya squeezed Kyus’ hand. “Kardos would never have left without me. He told me. He admitted that he was going to negotiate with King Malloron for me before I even revealed that I was an Omega. It wouldn’t have mattered what Elion did. You cannot blame him for that.”

“But he didn’t even try,” Kyus said, her voice rising. “He is a prince, brother to the king, and descendant of the royal bloodline. He could have made some kind of effort instead of thinking about himself.”

Shaya shook her head. “Everything happened so fast, and he had only just learned that both of us were Omegas,” Shaya pointed out. “The fact he even still wanted to keep you after learning you had deceived him just goes to show you how much he cares about you.”

Kyus’s jaw hardened, but she said nothing more.

“You cannot blame him,” Shaya stressed. “If you have been upset with him all this time, instead of being with him like you were supposed to be, it makes everything I’ve been through pointless and worthless.”

Kyus turned to look at Shaya, surprise in her eyes.

Shaya looked at her evenly. “I went with Kardos so that you could be with your Alpha and be safe. If you haven’t, then I did it for nothing.”

Kyus opened her mouth but nothing came out. The shock on her face was an expression Shaya had rarely seen on her sister before, but she was too annoyed to register it. Kyus had wasted all this time to truly build something with Elion. Something built on trust and honesty. But instead, she had been punishing him.

“Where is he?” she asked, suddenly realizing that Kyus had been speaking of Elion in the past tense. “Is he here? Does he know that you have been searching for me?”

Kyus’ eyes lowered. “He has been sleeping in the castle. I have refused to allow him here. I never once spoke to him about finding you, but I think he suspects it. I haven’t been attending my duties the way I am supposed to. Sometimes he comes to visit but….” Her voice faltered and her eyes darted back up to Shaya’s. “I cannot forgive him, Shaya. I know you made that sacrifice for me, but you made the sacrifice for him as well. And he can never return it. He has proven that he is not willing to.”

“The only thing I want is for the two of you to be together. You have to forgive him, Kyus.”

“You will not forgive your Alpha,” Kyus said sharply. “You cannot order me to forgive mine.”

“That is different.”

“Is it? Yes, he made mistakes, but you love him and you are willing to abandon him without even giving him the chance to explain.”

Shaya bristled, defensively. “Are you saying that you want me to be with him now? After everything he has done!”

“No,” Kyus said. “I’m just saying but it’s not easy when it’s your own situation. I may not have suffered the same as you, but I’ve still suffered. Every single time I’m with him I know he is likely to be thinking about someone else. Whether we are in bed, whether he is talking and telling me how much he loves me, when he is talking about our wedding, our marriage, starting a family… I know he would prefer discussing all of that with someone else. I have had years of this, and I would continue to have years of it for your sake. But I cannot forgive him for not being there for me when I needed him to help me protect you. That is beyond something that I’m capable of doing.”

Shaya was unable to find the words to explain how wrong Kyus was. She wasn’t being fair to Elion and she didn’t understand just how singleminded Kardos was when he wanted something. No one could have prevented him from taking her—he would have found a way. But Kyus didn’t know him, didn’t understand him. She felt that Elion had more power in the situation than he actually had—what could Elion have done?

But she didn’t say any of this, Kyus was clearly upset and annoyed, and as Shaya stared at her she realized her sister was not perfect. Logically, she knew that already, but Kyus had seemed perfect in her eyes as she was growing up. She was so knowledgeable, so smart, so talented. But she obviously had weaknesses, just like everyone else. “So what happens now?” she asked quietly, as the silence grew.

Kyus exhaled. “I have to think about this,” she murmured. “I think you should get more advice about the potential damage to you both before you truly leave him. We don’t know how long that potion will last, or if it wears off what could happen. We don’t even know how it is affecting him.” She looked at Shaya quizzically. “Would you be upset if he was being hurt by this?”

Shaya was taken aback by the question. She never considered that Kardos could be hurt by the dulling of the bond. She opened her mouth to answer, but realized she could not. Although she wanted to numb the feeling of the bond in her chest, it was not her intention to hurt him.

Kyus nodded knowingly. “It’s a difficult question to answer, isn’t it?”

“That doesn’t mean I want to go back to him,” Shaya said guardedly. “And even if I do get advice about any damage to us by the potion, what would be the result? Going back to him?”

“It’s something we have to consider,” Kyus admitted. “We cannot pretend the bond hasn’t happened.”

Shaya nodded, the glum feeling twisting in her as she realized that she had truly made a permanent decision when she bit him.

“Get some sleep,” Kyus said as she rose from the bed. “We can think about this further before we make any concrete decisions.”

Shaya settled down again in bed, gripping the pillow the way she needed it, her mind racing with everything that she had learned and discussed. Things were much more complicated than she thought they would be, and it was her own choices that made it so. Why hadn’t she fought against Kardos harder? Why had she bitten him without thinking it through? Why had she been so caught up in the bliss of his touch that she allowed herself to get drawn deeper into his hold? But even as the thoughts came to her, she knew there was no other way it could have gone. She was much too captivated to him to fight against the compelling nature of their attraction.

She closed her eyes and sighed, once again wishing that the vibrating purr she so dearly missed was penetrating her whole body.

CHAPTER FOUR

SHAYA

When the bond pulsed this time, she was almost expecting it. The Alpha’s weight weighed heavily down on her, and he crushed her again with a desperate kiss, settling the emotions that had been roiling in her since her conversation with her sister.

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