Page 13 of Own to Obtain

“You could,” Kyus said bluntly. “You know I’ve been trained to deal with harsh situations. And not everything between me and Elion is perfect. It would have been better, from all angles, if I were the one to go.”

“It wasn’t about your strength as a woman,” Shaya explained. “I couldn’t let you leave him, I just couldn’t, Kyus. I know you think he doesn’t care about you, but the pain on his face when he realized what was about to happen… and the pain in yours. It was heartbreaking.”

Kyus averted her eyes. “I admit I wasn’t expecting it, but that did not mean you had to take my place.”

Shaya lifted her shoulders. “It was my choice, and it is done.”

“Indeed,” Kyus said, sighing. “But much more has been done than I expected. You are a bonded Omega female now; that complicates things much more than I thought.”

“True, but it has been dulled. There’s no feeling of it in my chest.”

“But you are still bonded,” Kyus pointed out. “And it seems as though you may be true mates with this Kardos, in which case it would be dangerous to even try to interfere with it further.”

“True mates?”

Kyus nodded. “It means he is the one Alpha completely suited to you, the one who can give you everything you need. There is a type of… bliss that happens between you that is indescribable and irreplaceable. There will never be another who can give you the experiences that you had with him.”

“How do you know we are?”

“The way you bit him,” Kyus said softly. “Your instinct to claim him. In all my studying of Omegas that is most common among true mates.”

A whirlwind of emotions swept through Shaya as she contemplated what Kyus said. That was why things had been so wonderful with him, why even in her dreams he could settle her so well. But not all of it had been wonderful. “I don’t wantallof the experiences I had with him,” she muttered, her voice low.

“But you still crave some of them, Shaya,” Kyus said softly. “It is clear you miss him deeply.”

“But that is hormones, isn’t it?” she asked, somewhat desperately. “Omega hormones, like the Haze?”

Kyus tilted her head, observing Shaya carefully. “If you could feel the bond, I would have said it is very possible. But without it, it’s more likely you are missing his presence.”

Shaya exhaled in annoyance. “It is not that simple, Kyus. This feeling cannot be because I just miss him. Something has happened. It feels like…”

As her voice petered out, Kyus spoke. “Like you’ll never be happy again. Like paying attention to anything is too much effort. Like the sun will never shine as brightly or food will never taste as good. Like color and joy has been sucked from every single thing that surrounds you. Like if only you had one thing, just one tiny thing like his purr, or his smile, or his touch, that everything would be a little bit better.”

Tears filled Shaya’s eyes and she clenched her jaw, unable to deny that every word Kyus said was exactly what she felt.

“I know, Shaya,” Kyus said, gently. “I know because I felt it. And I wasn’t bonded to Elion. I wasn’t even unblocked. I was just lovesick for him. You are struggling worse than me because you crave your true mate.”

Shaya pressed her lips together to stop them trembling. “How do I stop it?” Even though the grey had lessened, what would happen if it increased again? Would she simply be incapable of surviving? What if she didn’t have another dream to chase it away? She couldn’t live that like.

Kyus was silent for a long moment while she thought. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Usually this kind of thing just takes time, but with the bond, I don’t know how that would work.”

“But if the bond has been dulled,” she said hopefully, “that means it will fade, doesn’t it?”

Kyus pursed her lips. “The bond has been created and therefore it will always exist.” She frowned as she thought for a moment. “Do you know how the potion would have affected him?”

“I think its effects would be felt by both of us.”

“Then he will know that you have done something, and he is likely to be extremely upset about that,” Kyus said, raising her brows at Shaya.

Shaya nodded. Judging by how furious he was when he tried to swim to them on the platform, he was significantly beyond upset.

“What was your plan, Shaya,” Kyus asked. “When you took the potion, what was your intention?”

“To dull the bond.”

“But did you think that would be a permanent solution? What were you thinking in terms of the future?”

Shaya shook her head slowly, thinking through the choice she had made. “I wasn’t thinking about the future,” she admitted. “I had no idea if I would truly be able to summon you. It may have been that he would return and force me to stay with him. I just didn’t want to suffer with him in my chest anymore.”

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