Page 12 of Own to Obtain

Kyus was silent for a moment as she shifted on the bed. “Of course I was distraught by the experience, but I wanted to hear from him exactly what his feelings were about his previous lover and about me. When I questioned him, he didn’t have an answer. I accused him of still being in love with her, and he didn’t deny it. He just kept going on about the king taking his women and making them fall in love with him. He demanded to know my feelings for the king and became wild with anger when I said that if he was in still in love with his previous lover, it didn’t matter. He was more concerned about my feelings toward the king than about the fact that I was upset he was still in love with his previous lover—a Beta woman who had died.”

Kyus looked at Shaya. “I knew I couldn’t compete with a dead woman. She will always be perfect in his eyes, and he seemed to have real deep-seated anger about the king taking her. I knew I would never be a priority for him, so I decided to leave him and continue on with my missions.” Kyus swallowed, shaking her head. “But it wasn’t that easy. When I came home after that conversation, I stopped speaking to him entirely.

“The next day, I intended to check in with my superiors and get my next mission, but I found couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t do anything. I felt betrayed and missed him so much—everything about him. I never knew I could be affected so much by his rejection, by choosing to step away from him, but I couldn’t cope, Shaya.”

“But he never came to find you? Or speak to you?” Shaya asked, confused. “I don’t remember him ever coming to the cottage.”

“He didn’t know where I lived,” Kyus responded, bitterness entering her voice. “I realized then that there was much he didn’t know or bother to find out about me. And I truly realized how much he did not care.”

Shaya observed her, doubt on her face. She had seen Elion with her sister, and it didn’t ever seem that he did not care about her. “Why did you never tell him where you lived? Surely he must have wondered?”

“I avoided it making it clear whenever we talked about my living situation,” Kyus said. “But it wasn’t as though he couldn’t find out if he really wanted to. He is the prince.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

“I couldn’t let him know where I lived and risk him finding out about you.” She held Shaya’s gaze. “You weren’t yet twelve. I had no idea what dynamic you would be, although I guessed that you would be an Omega. The neighboring families to us thought you were my daughter, and I didn’t confirm or deny it. I wanted to know for sure you were an Omega before I made any decisions about how I would introduce you to anybody. And of course, the prince of the Visant Royal family was not someone I could introduce you to in a casual way, especially not if I was going to be with him. I had to have a plan, and since your twelfth birthday was approaching, it wasn’t long to wait.”

Shaya digested the information, somewhat taken aback that Kyus had never told her this before. Of course she knew that Kyus had to change things about her life for Shaya, but she never suspected that she had withheld part of her life from Elion because of her. It was obvious now that she would’ve had to.

“So you never once told him that you had any family?”

Kyus shook her head. “There was never any need to tell him anything, but it wasn’t as though he asked, Shaya. He had no interest in me beyond the bedroom.”

“That’s not true, Kyus,” she said. “I have seen him with you. He may have been… concerned over his dead lover, but he worships you.”

“It may look like that,” Kyus said sharply, “but it is not. With the royal family, it is all about appearances. He enjoys having a woman on his arm that people admire, someone who is able to negotiate and charm and twist others up with words just as successfully as he can. He enjoys the banter and battle of wits, and I had developed enough of a reputation that having me by his side made him look good. But it is all superficial.”

Shaya did not believe that for one moment, but maybe that was how Kyus felt at the time. “So what happened? Obviously things changed? What made you recover from being lovesick?”

“You,” Kyus said smiling. She clasped Shaya’s hand in both of her own. “You didn’t know what was happening to me and I could see that you were scared. I couldn’t let you down in that way, not after everything I promised to myself, our mother, and you. When you were born I vowed to look after you and protect you, and I was letting this Alpha make me break my promise. So I forced myself to get up and get in touch with my superiors for my next mission. Unfortunately, they wanted me to stay in position. They gave me a team to manage, and even suggested I build some kind of relationship with a member of the royal family.”

“They didn’t know that you knew him?”

“I told them I had encountered him a few times, but nothing more. They didn’t name him specifically, but said it would help to have someone who was close to anyone in the royal family. No one had managed to get close to any member of the family before, even the Omegas they had in Eiros Castle were unable to penetrate higher levels. They felt with my standing in society that I could infiltrate where no one else had.”

“So what did you do?”

“What could I do? I was already committed to my work and to you. So I waited until you came into your dynamic and then moved to the main city in DarRojan.”

Shaya nodded slowly as she remembered. They lived in a busy city where Kyus had Shaya trained as a servant with a number of other girls. It was then that they spoke at length about Shaya maintaining that she was only Kyus’ servant, and how important it was to upload that lie.

“Within a week of us being there, Elion sought me out,” Kyus said, her voice low. “I didn’t even agree to see him at first, but it was inevitable that I would. In the meantime, I tried to harden my heart as much as I could. But within a few weeks of him trying to persuade me that he did truly care about me, I was back to where I’d started.” Kyus’ brown eyes were low as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, her anguish clear on her face. “But you were doing so well,” she said smiling as she glanced up. “You learned your duties and enjoyed meeting girls your age, but it was clear you were shy and not suited to the large city. I knew you would benefit from a quiet household. So I developed my relationship with him further, knowing I would never be his preferred choice.”

Shaya shook her head at the dejection in her voice, silently disagreeing with her statement, but Kyus wasn’t even looking at her.

“Sometimes I’m able to forget,” she whispered, “but every time he sees his brother, I am sharply reminded of it. It happens every time, but I’m used to expecting it now.”

“I find it hard to believe that he still feels that way,” Shaya said tentatively. “He is not putting on a show when he is here with you at home, Kyus.”

Kyus smiled, but it was sad. “He is a master of deception, just like his brother, but in a different way. Don’t let him fool you, Shaya. Anyway, it is not as though I didn’t have my secrets from him.”

Shaya thought back through every time she had seen Kyus and Elion together, unable to believe that it was all based on falsehoods and lies. Her entire childhood seemed different now. She’d been blissfully ignorant of what her sister had been going through, and all the while she had been carrying out her servant duties and playing in her garden like a little child. Innocent and ignorant. And immediately, Rozalia’s words after her first Haze floated back to her.

“Why did you never tell me what it was truly like to be an Omega,” she asked, her voice hoarse, trying not to sound accusatory.

Kyus’ eyes snapped to hers, and she watched her for a short while, as though trying to assess the potency of her words. “I debated it for a long time,” she admitted. “Part of me did not want to admit there would be a time when you would not have me to look after you. The other part of me felt it would be safer for you to have no true knowledge that could be forced from you if anyone were to find out. I didn’t believe that you would ever really be at risk.” She hesitated. “And I certainly did not think that you would ever, ever, volunteer yourself as an Omega to a foreign Alpha from another Land. I don’t know what you were thinking, Shaya.”

“I couldn’t let you go,” Shaya insisted. “I couldn’t let you leave your Alpha.”

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