Page 45 of Own to Obey

Shaya wasn’t sure what to say, and an awkward silence grew as the woman put back on her gloves and hat. “Thank you,” she blurted out, finally.

Anata smiled at her before opening the door and trudging back out into the snow.

***

It was late afternoon when Kardos finally arrived.

Shaya sat on the bed in his room, rolling a potion bottle between her fingers. She had already spent the last few hours tearful at the revelations Anata had brought with her apology. She had always suspected she was going to be used but didn’t expect it would be like this. Nothing would have prepared her for this, not even Kyus’ warnings.

By the time she had cried herself out, she was numb inside, and the world had lost its color. Even the beauty of the landscape outside had become dull and gray.

She thought back to every moment on the ship and realized he was preparing her for someone else all along. He wasn’t trying to keep her safe, he was trying to keep her pure and get her ready for whichever Alpha she was going to be paired with. The thought made her nauseous and then angry.

She searched her belongings for her real clothes, the clothes she was in when she hugged her sister, the clothes that were her only true belongings, but instead of finding them, she found a potion bottle.

It held a pale blue substance and smelled exactly like the liquid he had poured down her throat that night of the celebrations. She hadn’t given the liquid much thought, but when she sniffed the bottle, the memory rushed to the surface of her mind and she couldn’t get it out.

Potions were dangerous things and this one smelled too complex to be innocent. Now that she knew he was training her all along, who knows what he could have used the potion to do? That was the night he’d had sex with her, the potion could have been used to do anything. She shook it, held it up against the light, and watched the liquid settle. She couldn’t tell what it might be, but the fact he still had a dose meant he was planning to use it. Was he planning to give them to her Alpha mate? An annoyance came over her so strong she decided to ask him.

It was a bold thing to do but at that moment, how else would she get any answers? She was more important to him as a trading asset than as a lover. That made her cry again, but it was the brutal truth. She had to accept it. After all her intentions not to break, he had indeed broken her, just not in the way she expected. Kyus would never have been caught out like this, but then she was a trained spy. She could use magic, and foresee things that Shaya would never have dreamed of. Shaya thought she could be strong like her, but she had no protection, no power, and no control over her feelings for him—she was useless.

The shinno entered his room and froze when he saw her. He still looked so amazing—his wide frame strong, his blonde hair beautiful. And that nervousness rose within her yet again as a tingling between her legs even though she hated it now. She forced herself to think of how many women had been in this bedroom with him, if he’d ever had Anata in here, and that gave her strength.

“Shaya,” he said.

There was something strange in his voice, but she ignored it. “My name is Katashaya.”

An amused rumbled came from his chest as he threw his fur overcoat down. “I told you, I will call you what your sister calls you.”

“And what will my mate call me? The one I will be paired with.”

Kardos stiffened, his eyes turning dark. “Who the fuck told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s true, does it?”

The shinno was silent.

And in that silence, Shaya’s heart broke, making her realize for the first time that she was clinging to the hope it wasn’t true. She was still being a fool.

“It matters because no one should be speaking about it,” he said finally.

“Yes, you wanted to keep me in the dark for as long as possible,” Shaya said, unable to spit out her words as harshly as she wanted because everything inside her hurt. “You wanted me to wake up underneath some crazed Alpha and wonder what had happened and where you’d gone.”

“Don’t say that,” he growled.

“In the meantime, you’ll be fucking your betrothed and celebrating with whatever you’ve been promised in return for me,” she said bitterly. “What is it, money, gold, land—”

The shinno stormed over to her, his face like thunder as he grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. “You do not use that language!”

Shaya looked up into his eyes, the mini-oceans she had admired so much. They were lies. Everything about him was a lie. “You are much worse than I ever imagined you were.”

His eyes searched hers for a moment. “You are hurt,” he decided. He glanced around the room, his jaw clenching, and then back to her face, something raw in his eyes that she could not identify. “But you will come to realize that you are doing the Southern Lands a great service and you must do your duty,kysm eshar.”

“It is not my choice!”

“You chose to come with me,” he said, his voice booming into her. “You chose to put yourself at my mercy, and this ismychoice. It has to be. I am the Alpha and the shinno and the tribe leader, Shaya. I decide what happens to you. You will serve the people of the Southern Lands and you will come to enjoy it, I assure you. It is in your nature.”

“So you were training me the whole time?” she said, fighting to keep her voice from breaking. “When you hurt me? When you had your cock in my mouth? When you took me that first day—”

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