Page 11 of Own to Obey

After a long stretch of him holding her, the shinno, who had fallen silent, said, “Lanatton arook.” For the first time, his voice was softer than she'd heard before and something in his tone caused her to look up at him.

His strange eyes swept her face, but she could not identify the expression in them. Everything about him was hard, his body, his face, his voice, but in his eyes, at least this time, there was something different there.

“Lanatton arook.” He paused, his eyes searching hers as he conceded, adding,“Katashaya.”

***

The next day, on the deck, Shaya tried to plead with the woman she was left with after the shinno walked away.

“My arms,” she said slowly. “My arms are aching from yesterday. Can I do something else?”

The woman didn't even blink at Shaya's attempt to speak to her. This woman had thick black hair and was thin and angular, but just as stern as the other women Shaya had met who ran the decks. She urged and hurried Shaya toward the pipes as though she hadn’t spoken at all.

“I cannot clean today,” Shaya insisted, trying to be firmer. “My hands and arms hurt too much. I'll do something else. What else can I do?”

The woman pointed to the bucket, her face firm and resolute. Either she didn't understand what Shaya was saying or she didn't care.

Shaya lowered to the floor slowly, wondering what the hell she was going to do. Even straightening her fingers was a struggle and the pain had ricocheted down her arms, there was no way she could clean as briskly as needed, but there was no other way to get out of it.

When she began to clean, her hands burned as though there was a fire inside them trying to make its way to the surface. Her muscles seem to be tearing themselves apart in agony all the way up her arms, and tears came to her eyes as she tried to push through it and continue cleaning, but she could not do it.

Things became worse when the woman who oversaw the area, noticed she wasn’t cleaning and slapped her arms

Shaya cried out, pulling her arms and hands in to protect them, but the woman didn't stop, spitting out hard words at Shaya as she continued to attack. Shaya inched backward trying to get away from her, but finally the woman grabbed her wrist and yanked her up. She muttered something in her tongue, her voice low and her eyes almost glinting.

Turning, the woman pulled Shaya behind her as she walked, and Shaya's eyes widened with horror as she realized where she was going.

The shinno saw them coming and stepped away from the boulders, a frown on his face as he watched them approach.

The woman spoke to him, somewhat harshly, gesturing to Shaya and pointing back at the pipes. Shaya watched as his expression changed to one of annoyance and she shrunk back from him as his gaze turned to her.

He said a few words to the woman and she turned and walked away, leaving Shaya with him. He grabbed her arm, and she winced at the pain, stumbling after him as he took her to a side of the deck near the stairs.

Grabbing a coil of rope, he twisted it around her wrists until they were secured together, and then lifted them above her head.

She gasped as the pain ricocheted down her arm. “My hands and arms hurt,” she said hurriedly, as the shinno began to attach the rope to one of the hooks above where they were standing. “My arms hurt from yesterday, please, just let me rest them and I will be able to continue tomorrow.”

The shinno didn't pay any attention to her as he secured the rope above her head, fastening her arms in place. But once she was secure he looked down at her, his fierce eyes boring into hers. “Lanatton arook, Shaya.” He turned and walked back to the men with the boulders, leaving her with her arms above her head.

Shaya took a breath as she watched him walking away. She could do this. As long as she didn't move too much, as long as she didn't think about the pain, she could stay here. She ran her eyes along the rest of the deck, watching materials passing from one section to another, watching pots being stirred and liquid being poured—care taken at each stage and suddenly, the entire setup of what they were doing became clearer. The red tinted boulders were being broken up and melted down. Ultimately, they were turning the boulders into a liquid that was being taken somewhere into the ship, and along the ground of the whole deck, there were men and women cleaning the pipes.

She returned her eyes to the boulders. She knew there was something strange about them from the first time she saw them. Having worked in the expansive gardens of her sister’s future husband, who was actually a prince, she had never seen boulders that looked the way these did. Shaya watched the men, and the shinno, for a few rounds as they turned the rock over and over, pausing in between as they stared at it. Maybe they had to keep rotating it until it turned red, but it seemed like the most boring job in the world. They didn't even speak to each other; they simply concentrated on the rocks in front of them in silence.

Although she had tended to her gardens in silence, usually by herself, she was never really alone. The expansive land stretched quite far out around the house, far enough that it felt as though she was somewhere else, lost in a friendly, bright, and comfortable environment. The greenery of the gardens and the bursts of color was always a delight, no matter the season, as was the trilling call and cooing of the tiny unseen animals that lived among the plants.

Tears sprang to Shaya's eyes, but she tried her hardest to blink them away. She had chosen to give that up, she couldn't be upset about it. She knew that Kyus would make sure her gardens were looked after, no matter what.

The day wore on, and although Shaya tried to stay as still as possible, gripping onto the rope that held her arms up, the pain increased. She gritted her teeth, blinking away more tears as her arms exploded in pain. She lowered her head, breathing heavily, trying to tell herself that the pain was not real, but it was. Tears ran down her cheeks and soon the pain was so strong, she welcomed the edging darkness as it closed over her.

An icy wetness slammed into her face and Shaya gasped as she jumped awake.

“Ni ashlettet odd dess eshak rezem dess besh okkeartheffet,” the shinno growled before her. He lowered the bucket he was holding, clearly annoyed.

Shaya gulped in mouthfuls of air, the drops of water dripping from her lashes and rolling down her cheeks. The shinno slowly put the bucket down, shot her a warning look and walked away toward the boulders.

Shaya shook her head to try to fling the water from her face, hoping that none had splashed into her hair, but was suddenly reminded her painful arms remained fixed above her head.

She pressed her lips together. He wanted her to suffer. He wanted her to endure the pain. She scrunched her lips together as a determination overcame her. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her destroyed. She had already vowed that she would not break. He could do whatever he wanted to her body—she would not allow him to crush her spirit. Picking a point on the deck, she stared directly at it and thought only of her home. Focusing her mind, she recalled memories of her childhood; reading her first book, hearing the flute for the first time, her first bite of spiced chicken from Cathley’s market stall...

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