Page 38 of Possession Under the Southern Stars

“Shaking hands with the milkman?” I suggest.

She giggles. “I’ve not heard it put like that! Apparently she beat him black and blue, called him filthy, forbade him to ever do it again…”

“How did that work out?”

“Yeah, I’m guessing it didn’t work, but it screwed all of the boys up. Ian’s oldest brother has been married three times and sleeps with everything that moves. His younger brother’s girlfriend once told me he was heavily into BDSM.” She pulls an eek face. “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, but…”

“I understand. And you think it affected Ian, too?”

“Oh God, yes. He was so withdrawn, right from the beginning. He wouldn’t discuss sex, and would never admit to doing… the milkman thing. The thing was, I didn’t have anything to compare him to. I realized he had problems, of course, but I really thought it would change once we were together a while. He wasn’t all bad. He was generous and kind, mostly. He had a good sense of humor, and he worked hard, and he loved me, I think, in the beginning anyway.”

I feel a surge of jealousy, which surprises me, as it’s not an emotion I’m used to. I don’t like her defending him. But I have absolutely no right to feel this way about a work colleague.

Ah, Fraser. How long are you going to keep pretending that’s all you want to be?

“I’m guessing his parents would rather he have chosen a girlfriend from their group,” I say.

“Yeah, they didn’t like me at all. Their parents didn’t believe in sex before marriage, and they hated that all of their sons were living with girls, but I guess they had to accept it’s a modern world. They didn’t hesitate to make their distaste known, though.”

“That’s unfortunate.” Poor Hallie. No wonder she has an inferiority complex.

The bartender comes up and places the bowl of potato wedges on the table, along with a kind of stained-glass box containing a tealight, and he leans forward with an electric lighter to light it before withdrawing. The candle casts patterns of colored light on the table, as if someone has spilled a box of jewels across it—sapphires, emeralds, and rubies.

“Mmm,” Hallie says, helping herself to a potato wedge and dipping it into the sour cream. “I was getting hungry.”

I take a bite of a wedge, studying her as I enjoy the crunch of the crispy skin and the taste of the sweet chili.

“What?” she asks, amused.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“You said he criticized you for being bad in bed.”

She looks down at her drink, her smile fading. “Yeah.”

“But you’ve also said he was withdrawn, and you implied he wasn’t very adventurous in bed. So how can he criticize you?”

“That’s one reason why I’m so mad,” she says.

My eyebrows rise. “You’re mad?”

“I’m furious with him.” She sounds surprised that I haven’t realized. Aaahhh… I’m beginning to understand her more now. For some reason she doesn’t think it’s acceptable to show her emotions. Is that purely to do with Ian?

“It wasn’t just that he wasn’t adventurous,” she says slowly. She picks up the beermat and turns it over in her fingers as she plans what to say. “He didn’t like me… um… making noise. And he really didn’t like me suggesting anything. He saw it as a threat, I think, or a criticism of his performance. He didn’t like me initiating sex, either. He found it intimidating, and he said it wasn’t ladylike.” I snort. “You don’t agree?” she asks.

“I most certainly do not. It shows a woman wants you if she initiates sex. What’s not to like about that?”

She gives a small smile, then scratches at a mark on the beermat. “I’ve never spoken to anyone about this.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. But I thought it might help.”

“It does help. A lot.”

I open my mouth to encourage her to say more, then close it again as I get a flash of an image of Whina glaring at me. But the alcohol is beginning to thread through me, and I feel a swell of rebellion. Who I have a relationship with is nothing to do with anyone but me and the girl involved.

The noisy group has left, and it’s now much quieter. Soft jazz music is playing in the background. We’ve both finished our cocktails, and Hallie says, “Shall we have one more?”

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