Page 60 of Mafia Rules

I open my eyes when the sun hits them, and the smell of a strong pot of coffee from the kitchen awakens my senses. I forget everything that happened for a moment and wonder why I wasn’t in Ash’s bed. Then, it all comes flooding back — Sasha, Ash in the shower, the last look he gave me, all overwhelming me again. The pain settling back into my chest, making it hard to breathe.

How could I live without him?Never being in his arms, or worse…Sasha being in them. I shake my head as if I could get rid of the image of them out of it at the same time. Groggily, I raisemyself, surprised to find his shirt beneath me.Oh, right…I took that. The faint scent of him is still on it.

"Well, well, well, look who decided to make an appearance." Macy hands me a steaming mug of coffee and settles into the plush, oversized chair, curling up with a contented sigh.

“Sorry. I hope you don’t mind.” I place my drink on the coffee table and force my legs off the side of the couch to sit up.

“What happened?” Macy puts her mug down, wraps her arms around her legs, and stares at me, her eyes questioning, "I'm assuming something from the stains of mascara on your cheeks."

I forcibly silence the relentless stream of thoughts and images from the past two days, focusing on what I want to share with her. My gut screams to protect him, but I don’t owe him anything now. They were together at a luxury penthouse, and I was on Macy’s couch.

“It’s done.” Words tumble out of me in a frantic rush, each syllable a painful effort as I try to carefully choose every word to explain what happened. “He’s moved on.”

“What???” Macy springs to her feet and over to me. “What did he do?”

“It’s complicated, but he’s back with his ex. She was away for years and came back.” My voice falters, overcome with emotion.

“I’m so sorry, Eve.” Macy embraces me. “Life isn’t fair.”

I lean into her and sob, my body aching for shaking so violently over and over. “I’m not sure I can do this.”

“Fuck yeah, you can.” Macy tightens her grip on me. “You’re a tough girl, Eve. You’ve been through so much already, and you’re resilient like a fucking diamond.”

I cling to her arm as she rocks us back and forth, neither of us saying anything for a while. “I didn’t know he existed months ago, and now he’s my everything. But I have to let him go.”

“Sometimes we think we know someone, and we don’t. They show us what we want because we tell them what we need.” Macy swipes my tear-stained hair from my face. “Never tell a man what you want again.”

I nod in agreement. If I ever got into another relationship. The pain from this one, even though short-lived, was like nothing I’d ever felt. But maybe I was romanticizing him. Why would he lie and tell me he loved me? Why not just not say it? I fell for it like a fool.

I sit up, lifting myself off of her. It was time to move on – or start too. “I’m leaving today. I’m going home.”

“You can stay here,” Macy says as soon as I tell her. “You don’t have to leave the city.”

“No. I don’t want to be anywhere where I could run into them. I couldn’t stand that.” I say, feeling a sense of dread taking over my lungs. I had to get out of the city as soon as I could.

“Okay, but if you want to come back, you always have a place here. With me. We could even move to a two-bedroom.” Macy chokes out.

“I won’t disappear.” I smile. Unsure if anyone else in the world felt the way Macy did for me. “Do you have my iPad? I couldn’t find it.”

“No, you took it with you.”

“Shit,” I remember where it is now. Laying on the side table in the living room of Ash’s condo. I’d have to go back. “It’s at the condo.”

“Want me to go with you?”

“No. I’ll grab it on my way out. I should leave soon. It’s a long drive.” I glance at my packed bags and boxes in the corner from my old life.

“Leave the boxes. That way, I know you’ll come back.” Macy laughs, a watery sniffling sound as she wipes her tears away.

“I’ll be back. I promise.” I rise to my feet, a subtle feeling of ease settling in. I had a plan, and that’s all I need to focus on now. Just making it back to my parents. Then I’ll make another plan.

“I love you girl.” Macy hugs me, crushing me to her. “I don’t want to let go.”

“I know.” I half smirk, my skin feverish. “I wish I’d never met him. That I listened to you that day.”

“Don’t do that, Eve. Sometimes, people are only in our lives for a reason. When you were with Ash, you came out of your shell and had a voice for the first time in a long time. It wasn’t all bad.”

I lower my head. He made me feel alive again. I didn’t even realize I was living like the dead before him. I hadn’t laughed that much in years. His name coming up on my phone made my heart skip a beat. His voice on the phone so smooth and dreamy. I couldn’t remind myself of those things again.

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