Page 42 of Mafia Rules

“I just want to be far away from him. I need to think without his influence.” I nervously place my hand over my phone in my pocket, hoping to feel a buzz of a new message from him. Despite myself, I fight to not haul out my phone now and read and listen to his messages.

“So, girls’ night?” To ease the tension, Macy flashes me her silliest grin. “I can get us drinks and food, and I’ll even watch one of your Christmas movies?”

“No, I think I need to be alone to think. Please don’t be offended.” I watch her smile fade, and her focus turns back on the road. I couldn’t be home tonight, in case Ash shows up. He’s stubborn and hardheaded when he wants something, but I wasn’t his toy that he could pick up and play with as he pleased.

“Just don’t do anything stupid. Girls do that when they get mad.”

I offer a slight smile and look at my phone, unable to hold off any longer. There are more messages from Ash, and a text from Dereck.Was I about to do something stupid?

24

EVE

Hours later and two busses, I stand in front of the building I’d lived in for two years, possibly about to make the biggest mistake of my life—seemingly the theme of this season for me. My finger lingers over the buzzer, despite the keys still on my key chain.

I pause. I could walk away; no one would ever know how low I’ve sunk. But there was a familiarity with Dereck, and I knew what I got with him. When I met his parents, he was so proud to show me off and to his friends back home. I wasn’t a secret to him.

I should be with Ash right now, being tied up to his bed, begging for him to enter me. I can’t help but picture him doing that with Sasha, as replaceable as I was to him. She would not give up on him. The way she looks at him makes my skin crawl.

I turn to walk away and run smack into Dereck.

“Eve.” He glances at the front of his building. “This is a surprise. Did you reply to my text?” He reaches for his phone in his pocket.

“No. I just found myself here.” I motion to the building. “I thought I would pick up some more of my things, if you don’t mind?”

“Yeah, I put some stuff in boxes.” He opens the door with his key and holds it open for me.

“Thanks.” After stepping inside, the door closes with a loud thud, stirring up old emotions. And memories of running down these stairs to escape him not long ago.

“I haven’t had a drink since that night,” he says from behind me.

“That’s good for you.” I offer a weak smile, recognizing the words as something I had heard before. Dereck was a good partner when he wasn’t drinking. As the days passed, his drinking habit intensified, and his jealousy consumed him. I couldn’t even talk to a man at work without him getting upset and exploding.

“I’m staying on the program this time,” he says, as if reading my expression. “I’m going to meetings and have a sponsor.”

I smile and nod. “I’m happy for you.” I felt the familiar rough texture of the railing under my hand as I started climbing the three flights of stairs to our apartment—his apartment—hoping that what he was saying was true, for his sake.

We don’t talk again until he lets us into the apartment. It was clean, with no liquor bottles in sight and nothing out of place. “The place looks nice.” I fold my hands in front of me, feeling slightly more at ease.

“What I did to you… I’m so sorry, Eve.” He steps closer to me, and I instinctively take a step back.

“I’m just here for my stuff.” I glance over to the side where a row of boxes is packed with my name.

“This should be all of it. That’s why I texted.” He motions to the boxes. “If I find anything else, I can let you know.”

“I was looking for my journals, mostly.” I look at my whole life packed in six boxes. My possessions can fill one carload.

“They are in there. And all your books.” Dereck stands awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes darting back and forth as if he's got more to say.

“Thanks.” I walk over to the stack, unsure of how I’ll get this to Macy’s tiny apartment and wonder if I will fit it all in. I can’t call Macy because she’d disown me if she knew I was here.

“Did you drive here? I can help you bring them down.” He picks up a couple of boxes.

“No, I guess I didn’t realize I had this much stuff here.” I scratch my head, unsure of my true purpose here. Maybe to get back at Ash. Maybe to get my stuff and sever my last connection with Dereck.

“I can give you a lift. My dad bought me a truck for not drinking.” As he says the last part, his voice becomes quieter.

“Uh, yeah. That would be great, actually. Thanks.”

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