Page 38 of Vengeful Rotten Casualties

Her head snaps back and her eyes narrow. “Maybe I don’t want to fucking relive it then,” she grits out. “Did you ever think about that?”

“There’s no need to relive something that you’re still going through,” I shoot back. “You’re getting your revenge and every time you go out for another target, you come face to face with someone who … what? Abused you? Raped you? Don’t act like you’re over it and keeping it all a secret for anything else. Try again.”

Micki stares back at me, her lips parted as red fills her face. Not an embarrassed red, but a red that has everything to do with the volatile emotion swarming her milky brown eyes. Her hands land against my chest and push me back. I go willingly, waiting for her response. Waiting for some fucking truth from her.

“You really want to do this, Luc? Right now? You want to know what your father did to me? You want to know what hisfriendsdid to me?” Her hair flies over one shoulder as she turns away. “Fuck!” Her hands rake up into her hair. “You already know. You said it—yes, they raped me.” Her shoulders hunch inward for a moment until I think she realizes what she’s doing. Once she does, they go back again and she turns to face me.

“They passed me around like a toy and fucked me. I told you I’ve been with so many men before, I wasn’t completely truthful. There were women too. Men and women. Sometimes separately. Sometimes together. They fucked me—my pussy, my ass, my mouth. They tied me up. They treated me like I wasn’t even human. Why the fuck else do you think I came back so determined to—” She cuts herself off, panting as her chest pumps up and down with how fast her breath comes.

It’s good. It’s something more. I can see how her words are affecting her, and it’s better than the cold facade she gives. The indifference and calm savagery she exhibited when she talked to Dash.

“Fuck you, Luc.” The words are a nasty hiss. Full of venom. I don’t give a shit. I move towards her, but she quickly ducks beneath my arm and shoots across the room until she’s against the opposite cabinet and countertop. I clench my hand in a fist and rotate to face her. “I didn’t want to say it,” she snaps. “Why couldn’t you just let me have that? Why do you always have to fucking push me?”

“Because we’re not doing that again,” I reply. “The last time I let you handle shit on your own, you were taken from me.”

“You think I wanted that?” She bares her teeth at me. Like a frightened animal who’s been hurt too many fucking times.

“I know you didn’t,” I say.

She continues as if she didn’t hear me. “You think I want to tell you the fucked-up shit they did? The shit Iletthem do? You think I wanted to get married to a man old enough to be my grandfather? I fucked him. You know that, don’t you? I bent over every night and let him fuck me. Every time he came in my mouth, I would puke in the bathroom after. But I still let it fucking happen.”

I’m breaking apart inside. Every word out of her mouth is a barb stabbing me, sinking into my skin—wiggling beneath my flesh like a living vessel of hatred and violence. She wants to make me hurt and hurt I do. That’s okay. It’s better this way. I move towards her, ignoring when she shakes her head and puts her hand out to ward me off.

“No, don’t,” she snaps. “Fuck—you’re such an asshole. I’m not here to talk about what happened to me, about what I did.”

“No, you’re not,” I agree. “You’re here to make them pay.” Her hand lowers and she finally looks at me. She finally meets my eyes. “I don’t fucking pity you, Micki,” I tell her. “I would never insult you like that.”

She shakes her head. “No, of course not,” she replies. “You don’t pity anyone.”

“Correct.”

She tips her head back and I take it as my invitation to touch her. My hand finds her hip as my other one grips the counter on her opposite side. “Everyone thinks you’re so easygoing.” Her words are quiet, soft. Just barely above a whisper. “They think you’re cleaner than the Sick Boys. That you’re not as deep into the bullshit as they are.”

I don’t say a damn word, just waiting for her to finish.

“There’s a reason I came back to you, Luc.”

My head dips down. I breathe against her collarbone. “I know.”

Her body shivers against mine. A pulsating heartbeat echoes between us—hers or mine, I can’t tell anymore. “I’m going to kill them,” she finally says. “All of them and your father is my last target. Of all his enemies, I knew you’d be the best one to come to.” I turn my head and press my lips to her throat. She stiffens but keeps going. “Andrew Bennington has blackmail material on him and he’s going to give it to me.”

“And after?” I press.

She swallows roughly, her throat working as she answers me. “I’ll kill him like the rest.”

“No.” I open my mouth and this time, I don’t resist my urges. I scrape my teeth against her skin. I bite down, eliciting a shaky cry from her lips. “What happens after you’re done with all of them—including my father?”

“I can’t give you the answer you’re looking for, Luc.”

I pause. Therein lies my fear.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she admits, “but I don’t know what’s going to happen after all of this is over. All I know is that I have to do this. I can’t move on if they’re still alive in this world.”

My hands, unlike my voice, do tremble as I touch her arms. My fingers on her flesh feel so fucking cold, but she’s like fire I can touch. Flames that I want to take into my palm and kiss and love. “Can you promise me something, then?” I pull away and look down at her.

She stares back at me, waiting.

“Once it’s all over,” I continue, “if you do decide to leave...” If she can’t stand to be in Eastpoint. If she has to break my heart so she can live. “Say goodbye. Give me that, at least. I can’t handle you gone without a single word. Not like last time.”

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