Page 97 of My Mistake To Make

‘What the fuck are you talking about?’

‘Doug, you and Cara, the sexual tension between you two is ridiculous. You want her bad, and she definitely fuckin’ wants you, so just ask. You want to know if she’s looking to meet somebody this weekend.’

What the fuck?

‘No, I don’t.’ I really don’t, but then… ‘How long have y’all been planning this girls’ night anyway?’ I try to sound relaxed, uninterested in Cara, and just showing a casual interest in their plans.

‘We planned it this afternoon. Cara met us for coffee, and we called Missy to arrange it all.’ This afternoon? I was with Cara this afternoon. I upset Cara this afternoon…

I nod, trying to ignore the way they study me as my jaw tightens and my foot twitches. Is this payback? Did I piss her off so much that she wants a single ladies’ night out to make up forit? She’s not fuckin’ single. Or is she? We haven’t put a label on this thing—haven’t said the words that have been on the tip of my tongue for weeks.

‘Doug,’ Zoe says, reaching out her hand to my knee. ‘You look like you’re about to blow out a blood vessel or something. You okay?’

I nod. ‘Yeah, I’m fine.’ I stand quickly, startling Harley, who thinks it’s playtime and jumps up before I have my defenses in place. ‘Ah, fuck, Harley.’

I cup my balls and walk away as my sisters laugh, and the damn dog rolls over to get her tummy pets like she didn’t just try to sterilize me once again.

Standing on the front porch, I pull my cell phone from my pocket and open a message.

Me:Girls’ night, huh?

Cara:Yeah, Missy’s idea. I was going to tell you later, just thought you’d be busy with Bowiex

See, that makes sense. My stupid idiot brain trying to convince me of an ulterior motive does not.

Me:Sounds like fun. My sisters think I’m pissed off because you’re a single lady on the prowl…

I’m fishing. Scared shitless to just put it out there in case we’re on completely different pages.

Cara:LOL, don’t be silly! Of course, I’m not x

I tap my thumb on the screen, wondering what to say. ‘Fuck it.’

Me:Not on the prowl, or not single?

She starts to reply immediately, and my heart races. I swallow.

Cara:Not either…

Fuck. Yes.

It’s stupid. I’m a grown man, I shouldn’t be about to punch the air because I have a girlfriend, but I feel like I want to. I haven’t been in a relationship since Jessie, and we broke up before I left for college. I had a lot of fun with a lot of women in the time between that breakup and Jessie telling me she was pregnant, but nothing that I ever wanted to be serious.

Cara got under my skin from day one, and part of my eagerness to get a place of my own and get this custody shit done is being able to tell everyone that she’s mine. It’s some primal bullshit. I know that. I want to make sure everyone knows to stay the fuck away. Right now, every man in this town and the next thinks she’s available, and I can’t do shit about it.

I need to get it done. I need to lock this down. I need to know I have my girls, BowieandCara, and the fucking ball buster, Harley, and start building a life, a family. I might not have said the words, but I sure as shit feel them.

‘She’s not looking to meet anyone.’

Bree’s hand on my back startles me, and I lock my phone in my hand. I can tell my sisters. I know I can trust them. It’s me that I don’t trust. Mama knows out of necessity, and she’s hard enough to reign in. She loves Cara and just wants me to be happy, but her excitement over the two of us gets a little much at times. If she’s not bursting at the seams every time she sees Cara, wanting to make a fuss over her as though she’s the future of the Campbell name, she’s trying to force me out of the door every night to go and spend time with her… that would be great if she didn’t wink every time she saysspend time, making it very clear she’s sending me out to get laid. It’s weird as fuck, but it’s also really fucking sweet. I love that she knows. I love that she’s happy. I’m worried that if Bree and Zoe know, if Merv knows,and if Leo knows, my brain will convince me the secret is out, and I’ll forget I have shit to tie down first. I should say it doesn’t matter. I should say I don’t care.

Instead, and without a second thought, I slide my phone into my back pocket, lean in to kiss her forehead, and say, ‘I know,’ before leaving her on the porch and heading inside.

By some miracle, Iescaped the inquisition from Bree. Mostly, I think, because she realized that telling Zoe what I said would have meant a full-scale interrogation that none of us needed, so she stayed quiet. She glanced at me often through dinner and tried to get Zoe to put Bo to bed so she could get me alone, but my girl wanted her Daddy.

I told Cara what I said, and she asked if that meant they knew. I said they didn’t and then explained that I was going to take Bowie away for a couple of days now that the house was finished, so I did just that. I took my girl up to my favorite spot by the lake and spent two nights together, daddy/daughter time, exploring, swimming, and listening to music; perfect.

We came back, and Jessie was waiting for us. She took Bowie, and I spent last night with Cara, and now it’s Saturday morning, and I can’t stop thinking about the fact that she’s going to be in a club tonight with three single women all looking to have fun. It’s not helping that I’m lying in her bed, watching her stand by her wardrobe in my t-shirt, trying to pick out what to wear.

---