Page 82 of My Mistake To Make

‘I know.’

‘Okay, honey. Let them in,’ I say softly, gripping Bo’s shoulders and, after the briefest moment of eye contact with Cara, steering my excited girl toward the sofa.

Jeez, she looks pretty tonight. Another of the little dresses that suit her so perfectly. This one floats just above her knees and makes her big eyes pop with the deep orange color of the fabric, and she has on sandals. I got so used to seeing her in sneakers that it surprises me a little.

‘Oh, I’m so happy you made it,’ Mama says, opening her arms to Cara, who steps into her embrace with a huge smile on her face. How is she always so at ease with everyone? She says she’s risk-averse, but all I see is someone always open and happy to accept new people and places all around her.

I watch as Cara follows my mom into the kitchen, and then Bowie pulls my attention to the game we set up, ready to play.

‘Game time?’ I ask, arching an eyebrow at her, and she mirrors my expression.

‘Butt kicking time, Daddy.’

I laugh loudly, joined by my sisters and Merv, and we play… she’s going down!

‘So, you and Mum were good friends?’ Cara asks as we sit around the table after dessert. Bo is in the bath with Zoe taking care of her, and Merv is outside watering the yard.

‘Yes, sweetheart. She was a couple of years younger than me, but she always had an older head on her shoulders, and we justclicked. We used to go for milkshakes at the diner and hang out up at the house,yourhouse.’ Mama smiles. ‘I fell in love with my husband just after I turned seventeen, and your mama thought it was just so romantic how he rolled back into town and fell in love, so never rolled back out again. We got married young and had the girls when I was only just eighteen, and then by the time Doug came along, your dad was already in town, and the same was happening for her. They were so in love.’

Mama’s voice shakes with emotion, and I watch as she reaches for the box on the table and lifts the lid. She pulls out some photographs, smiling softly at them before handing them to Cara, and Bree shifts her seat closer so she can look too.

‘That’s my husband and me,’ Mama says sweetly, and Cara gasps, then looks up at me, making Mama giggle. ‘Yeah, that’s my little Doug with Charlotte. She never could put him down.’

‘What?’ I reach out absent-mindedly for the photo, and Cara hands it to me. There I am, tiny and chunky, in the arms of Charlotte Reynolds. Man, she looks like Cara.

‘That was the day she was leaving.’ Mama sighs. ‘She came to say goodbye.’ I look closer at the photo and can now see the sadness I didn’t notice at first. The way my dad has his arm protectively around my mom’s shoulders, the expression in my mom’s eyes, and the way Charlotte is holding onto me as though she doesn’t want to let me go.

‘So, I’m in the photo too,’ Cara says softly, and I look up at her, not caring about holding her gaze too long. She’s in the photo, too, right there, next to me—Charlotte holding both of us in different ways.

‘This is trippy.’ Bree breaks the moment, and I’m grateful for it. Cara reaches up to wipe her eyes, but she doesn’t look sad. She looks so peaceful.

Bowie asked Cara to read her bedtime story, and she obliged happily, meaning my baby went to sleep with the biggest smile on her face as I headed back downstairs to see my mom, my sisters, Merv, and Cara all back around the table, rifling through memories.

We looked through so many photos. Pictures of my sisters and me, photographs of Cara that Charlotte had sent to my mom, photos that were so cute I could hardly cope, photos which Bree made a big song and dance over about how much little Cara looked like Bowie, and she was right, they did look alike, especially the ones with Cara’s long hair braided the way I braid Bo’s, but all I could focus on was that I never knew about her. I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that my whole life, right here in this house, there have been memories of the woman I can't seem to get my fill of, right up until she was about fourteen, right up until we both lost a parent.

When it came time for Bree to take Cara home, I wanted to step up and say I’d take her. I wanted to talk to her about how she felt after all this and check she was okay. But I couldn’t. It wasn’t the right time for my family to know about us, not before I’d seen the lawyer and knew where I stood on getting custody.

So instead, I sat on the front porch with Merv the way we always do and watched my sister drive away with my girl.

I’m Going To Watch

Cara

Walking away from Dougafter all that was so hard. It was lovely to hear stories from Lynnie, who clearly loved my mum so much, and the photos were amazing, but it was an emotional rollercoaster.

I’ve been here. Granted, I wasn’t earthside. I was in my mum’s tummy and just barely, but I was here. I was right next to Doug before either of us knew the other existed and right next to Bree and Zoe. I was here, in this town, in this house.

I suddenly feel drained as I lock the door after saying goodnight to Bree. I want to just have a bath and curl up in bed. I just wish I had a not-so-grumpy contractor to curl up next to.

I head upstairs and turn on the taps, undress, and pull on my robe before putting on some music, swirling some relaxing oil into the warm water, and dimming the bathroom lights a little. I smile as I do that. When Doug suggested dimmable lighting in the bathroom, I didn’t see the point, but now I get it, and I love it.

My head is spinning. A week ago, just one week, the man infuriated me. I was extremely attracted to him, yes, but bloody hell, he pissed me off, and now, I miss him. I miss touching him, kissing him. I miss the smell of him and the feel of his skin. How quickly you can become attached to someone—but he makes me feel safe. He makes me feel like I can let go because he’s already assessed the risks and is ready to protect me from them.

I’m about to get in the bath when I notice lights through the still curtain-less bedroom window and head over. My stomach jumps with happiness and excitement as I see the now-familiar truck park up, and I practically run downstairs to open the door.

‘Mama knows about us,’ he says, offering a small smile as he leans in to kiss me and back me into the hallway. ‘Man, I missed kissing you.’ He kicks the door closed behind him and pushes me up against the wall, bringing his mouth to mine again until I register what he just said and push lightly on his chest.

‘Wait, what?’ He steps back and looks me up and down hungrily. ‘Don’t look at me like that until you explain what you just said.’

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