Page 45 of My Mistake To Make

‘Not really something my sexual partners bothered with all that much.’

‘And it didn’t bother him that he wasn’t getting you off?’ Bree looks baffled.

‘No, once he was done, we were done.’

‘Asshole,’ Zoe hisses. ‘Wait, so I get that you slept with selfish men, we’ve all been there, but you don’t get yourself off?’ I shrug, and she leans in to take my hand. ‘Honey, don’t you understand how important it is?’

I laugh, thinking she’s joking, but none of them laugh with me.

‘Cara, she’s right. Orgasms are not only good for you, but you need to understand your body, what you like, what you don’t like, or how are you ever supposed to communicate that with a partner?’ Bree backs up her sister, and I swallow hard.

‘Well, I mean, I just sort of let him do what he needed to do. It never really bothered me.’

‘Oh, my god, sweetie.’ Missy looks concerned. ‘We need to go shopping.’

‘Yes,’ Zoe says enthusiastically. ‘Tomorrow, let’s go.’

‘I’m going to send you some links,’ Bree adds, and I huff, confused by the excitement in the room.

‘Wait, shopping for what? And links?’

‘Porn, sweetie. All ethical and made for the female gaze.’

What?

‘I’ll upgrade your WI-FI at the cabin to premium, too,’ Zoe says, reaching for her phone.

‘And shopping for supplies.’ Missy grins, and I don’t understand what’s happening.

‘Oh, sweet, sweet Cara. We are about to blow your mind.’

‘We won’t worry if we don’t hear from you for a week or two,’ Bree says, winking, and I gulp my wine more enthusiastically than before. I have no idea what’s in store for me, but I trust these women, so I’m just going to roll with it.

‘You okay?’

Missy looks at me, concerned, as I stare up at the sex shop window. I haven’t ever considered entering a store like this, and I’m about to do it flanked by my three personal masturbation cheerleaders.

Last night was eye-opening. To hear them talk so freely, not only about sex but about owning their own pleasure, was mind-blowing to me. In my wee little village, that sort of thing is not only not talked about but definitely frowned upon, seen as something dirty, as though ninety-nine percent of the population, if not more, is not doing it the second they’re alone.

As intimidating as the sleek black and gold sign in front of me is, I’m ready to take on this challenge and learn about a side of me I’ve pushed aside for too long… I think.

‘Come on.’ Bree and Zoe walk into the shop ahead of us, and Missy threads her arm through mine.

‘You’ve got this, sweetie.’

Oh wow.

All around me are items that send me straight into sensory overload. The store is dimly lit, and sultry dance music pumps through the speakers. The shelves are packed with, well, phalluses of all shapes and colors and,sweet Jesus, sizes.

‘That’s enormous.’ I gasp, and Missy laughs.

‘Yeah, I don’t think that’s for beginners. Come on.’

‘Ladies, how can I help?’

A young woman approaches, smiling widely and wearing a plain black t-shirt and jeans.

‘Oh, hi. We need a,’ Zoe seems to consider her words, ‘starter kit.’

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