Page 122 of My Mistake To Make

I pull on my robe and push my feet into some slippers before heading for the bathroom. Staring at my reflection, I can’t believe how I look. I’ve lost weight. I knew I had. I could feel it. But seeing that the jolly plumpness of my cheeks has all but gone, replaced by dark circles and puffy eyes, is just a reminder that I need to move on from this. Heartbreak doesn’t look good on me.

No, I need to make a decision about all of this. Go back to Forest Falls and figure out how to forgive or move on from Doug Campbell or leave altogether. One way or another, I have to move. I can’t keep standing still, waiting for the answer to find me.

After brushing my teeth and rinsing my face with cold water in the hope the puffiness of my eyes will go down a bit before I have to face him, I head for the kitchen, surprised when I see coffee already made and Doris well on her way to having breakfast prepared.

‘Oh, let me,’ I say as I stand next to her, and she smiles at me.

‘No, it’s okay. You get yourself some coffee and sit down.’

Is she mad at me? I can’t tell, and my stomach churns.

‘Doris, I’m so sorry about last night.’

Taking a deep breath, she turns to me and smiles softly.

‘I’m sorry, Cara. I kept this from you and from him. I knew he had met you and was falling for you before he even started work on that house because he found ways of dropping your name into conversations. You did it too, with him, and I should have told you both then, but I chose to stay quiet, keep out of it. I didn’t know he was bringing Andy here yesterday.’

She moves toward the table and sits. So I pour us both a cup of coffee and join her.

‘He told me last night he didn’t want your dad driving all this way with jetlag in case something happened. That’s why he brought him, but he didn’t know where exactly he was headed until they got closer to the city and programmed the GPS with the address Andy gave him.’

I try and fail to ignore the way my heart flutters in response to her words.

‘I’m not upset with you,’ I admit honestly. ‘I treasure my friendship with you, Doris.’

The sweet smile on her face isn’t that of a friend. It’s that of a grandmother. I see now, clearer than ever, that’s what she’s been to me. She’s cared for me and cooked for me, laughed with me, and held my hand. And I adore her.

‘He’s a good man, Cara.’ She squeezes my hand. ‘I know he messed up, and he will always mess up because, despite that impossibly handsome face of his, he is actually only human.’ I smile softly, but my eyes stay fixed on our hands on the table. ‘He’s a good man, deep in his soul. He’s kind and loving, he cares, and he gives, and because of the way he is, he’s been manipulated, used, and taken advantage of. Even when he knows there’s a chance of it happening, he’s let it happen again because, when all is said and done, he wants to believe people are capable of good, of honesty, even if they’ve proved time and time again that they aren’t.’

Jessie. She’s talking about Jessie… my sister. I swallow hard. I haven’t even spoken to my dad yet. I’ve been so focused on avoiding Doug that I avoided Dad too.

‘I’m going to be leaving today, Doris. I’m going to find a little cabin or something. Somewhere I can spend a couple of days with Dad.’

She nods and stands, moving back to the food she was preparing, and I move after her, putting my hand on her back.

‘I never doubted him being a good man. I know that he is.’ Reassured, she smiles and slides the chopping board my way, letting me take over preparing the fruit as she makes a start on the pancake batter.

Setting the table with the fruit, the stacks of pancakes, bacon, and eggs, I turn to get out the plates. Taking four out before Doris stops me.

‘There’s only three of us, honey.’ I meet her gaze, and she lifts the corners of her mouth just a little. 'He left last night. Wanted to give you some space.’

The sinking feeling as I put one plate back is unwelcome. This is what I wanted. I don’t get to be sad about it.

I Don’t Think You’re Picking The Right Fight

Cara

‘This is lovely, sweetheart.’

Dad leans back in the deck chair on the porch of the place we rented for a couple of nights. It is lovely. We’re in the middle of the woods, and there’s the sound of a brook babbling a little off in the distance. The sun streams through the gaps in the trees in ribbons of gold as the birds and bugs provide an unforgettable soundtrack.

I wanted a little log cabin. Somewhere we could just escape together. I hadn’t taken into account the fact that it was the height of summer and everything is booked up, so I ended up paying a fortune for the only place I could find available: A five-bedroom log mansion with a pool.

Regardless, being alone with my dad was just what I needed. We have talked about so much. He confirmed what Jessie told Doug and what was in Mum’s letter, that Bevan Lavell took advantage of Mum, and I’m the result of that. It’s hard to accept, but hearing how strong Mum was made me feel so proud and made me determined to get through this hurt. If she could get through that, I can get through anything.

She called it out. She confronted Bevan and his father. She told her parents and refused to bend to what they wanted. She kept her head high and stood her ground, and when she found out about me, instead of seeing me as a reminder of what had happened, she saw me as a chance for a fresh start, a reason to reach for more. I won’t crumble now. I won’t let this crush me because she raised me better than that.

My phone vibrates on the table between us, and the message from Doug lights up the screen for just a minute. I asked him to leave me alone and thought he was going to, but it seems seeing me again has renewed his need for contact. I hate that I like it. I hate that even though I don’t reply, my tummy flips every time he sends me a message.

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