Page 121 of My Mistake To Make

‘Don’t be daft. It’s been far too long since I’ve been back here, and I can’t wait to see your house.’ He smiles softly, and I try to do the same, but, well, I just don’t feel like smiling.

‘Oh, Doug fixed it up, you know,’ Doris says proudly, and I feel him shift beside me, uncomfortable.

I hate that I want to touch him. I miss the feel of his skin. When we would lay on the sofa watching a movie or lay in bed in the dark and quiet of the night, wrapped up in each other, touching each other tenderly as though we couldn’t stop, couldn’t get enough of each other. I miss that so much.

‘Cara?’ Dad’s voice has me looking up and finding him smiling at me softly.

‘I’m sorry.’ I push my chair back and stand. ‘Doris, I’m sorry. I can’t…’

Rushing from the room and then out the front door, I find myself in the front garden before a loud painful sob escapes me, and I collapse forward, my hands on my knees. The humid evening air presses heavily against my skin as the sunset pink of the sky does its best to soothe me.

‘Cara.’

Another sob escapes at the soft way he says my name, and I stand, hugging my arms across my body.

‘Baby, please…’

‘No!’ I spin around, angrily pointing my finger at him. ‘Don’t you call me that. Don’t you dare.’

‘Talk to me, please.’

‘I have nothing to say to you, Doug.’

‘That’s a lie.’ I glare at him, and my lips part, but nothing comes out. ‘You always have plenty to say to me. You said it yourself. You can’t stop yourself from telling me exactly as it is. Tell me now, please, because this silence is deafening.’

‘I’ll rephrase then. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to hear from you. I just want you to leave me alone.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

‘Ugh,’ I growl at the sky, turning away from this infuriating man.

‘Cara, what we have is…’

‘Had,’ I correct harshly, and he reacts as though I slapped him. I see the moment of impact, the sting of that one little word, but I double down. ‘What wehad, is over.’

‘Please don’t say that.’ He steps toward me, and my whole body tenses. ‘I know you’re angry right now…’

‘Angry,’ I screech like a bloody banshee. ‘I’m not angry, Doug. I’m fucking heartbroken.’

I hear the sharp exhale as I release the words and step back away from him.

‘You convinced me to trust you, promised me I could trust you to protect me, then you ripped my heart out.’ I swipe angrily at the traitorous tears that insist on falling. ‘You broke me, Doug, and I will not forgive that. Just leave me alone, please.’

The last words are a whisper as the emotion tightens my throat, but as I storm past him and see him frozen and silent, I know he heard them, and I know he’s going to do what I asked. We’re done.

He’s A Good Man, Cara

Cara

I feel hungover whenI open my eyes. My head is thick and heavy, my eyes scratchy and tired, and my throat dry and achy. I shut myself away and cried into the pillow until I exhausted myself.

Reaching for my phone to check the time, I see a message from Missy.

Missy:How are you doing this morning, honey?

I talked to her last night, telling her how Doug was here, that he was Doris’s grandson, that seeing him, having him so close to me was just making all the memories of the way he spoke to me that night, the way he looked at me, rush forward as if it was happening all over again. Even while he was begging me to talk to him and telling me he was sorry, all I heard was him calling me a lying bitch.

Choosing not to reply to Missy just yet, I put down my phone and stand. It’s just after six in the morning. I need a cup of coffee, and I need to prepare breakfast to make it up to Doris, and after that, I need to leave.

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