Page 117 of My Mistake To Make

‘I’m your dad, Cara. I always have been.’

‘But, not…’ emotion steals my words as my throat tightens.

‘I wasn’t the one to make you, no, but I was the one there when you were born, when you walked for the first time, started school, and every day since.’

‘How could you hide this from me?’

‘What purpose does the truth serve, Cara?’

‘I can’t,’ I gasp for breath as the heartbreak on top of heartbreak presses down on me.

‘Sweetheart. I’m sorry, I…’ I end the call. I’ve never even truly had cross words with my dad, and now I’m hanging up on him, but I feel like my whole world is crashing down around me, and I just need to get away.

‘You will come back,right?’ Zoe says as she sits on my bed and watches me pack a bag. Missy called her and Bree to tell them that I’m leaving for a bit, and they both headed up here.

‘I’ll have to, I guess.’ Honestly, I just want to run away to the middle of nowhere and never see another soul again, but I know that’ll pass.

I get up to grab my toiletries and toothbrush, chucking them in the bag before I zip it up.

‘You really can’t stay? We can work through this with you,’ Bree offers, and I shake my head.

‘No, I can’t stay here right now.’

‘Where will you go?’

‘I’m going to stay with a friend of mine in Charleston for a bit and take it from there.’

As we all head downstairs for the door, my friends lead me out onto the porch. I lock up the house and head for my car, hug them all and climb in. I need to get away. I need the surrogate grandmother who promised me her door was always open.

‘Oh, my sweet, Cara.’

Doris’s comforting smile and open arms are exactly what I need, and as I climb out of my car, I can’t stop the tears that fall.

‘Come on, honey. Let’s get you inside.’

Doug

This sucks.

I hate summer in Forest Falls as it is, with tourists every-goddam-where. The townspeople smiling and fawning like they’re in a fucking Hallmark movie, and every year, I’m the grumpy asshole they all love to hate, except this year, I’m the asshole who broke the Reynolds girl’s heart, and now the word has spread that I had her and I fucked it up, Forest Falls is hell.

I’m not sure how people know, but that’s small towns for you, I guess. The small mercy is that they don’t know all the details. They don’t know about the letters or what I accused her of. They don’t know about Bevan fucking Lavell raping Charlotte and being Cara’s real father. I swear to God, if I could dig up that son of a bitch and bring him back to life, I would, just so I could kill him all over again.

When I watched Cara read that letter two weeks ago, I felt the pain pouring out of her. I saw tears fall from her eyes, the tremble of her chin and bottom lip, the shake of her shoulders, and it hurt so fucking much. I wanted to hold her, wrap her up in my arms, and promise her that everything was going to be okay, but she didn’t want me anywhere near her. That she let me stay while she read the letter was a miracle.

Once Mama told me everything, I went up to see her but found the house locked up. I called Bree, and she told me Cara had gone away. I have no idea where, and it’s driving me crazy.

I thought I loved Jessie once upon a time. I thought she was it for me, but what I feel for Cara eclipses anything I’ve ever felt before. I know that’s why I fucked up as badly as I did. I couldn’t believe that the woman I was in love with could do something like that. I was hurt, embarrassed, and so fucking angry, and it caused me to act without thinking. I’ve never hated myself more.

Bowie being home helps. Jessie has gone out of town with a parting promise to do whatever she needs to do to make it legal to keep Bowie with me. That’s the silver lining of the black cloud hanging over me—that I have my baby girl with me, and she’s there to stay.

‘Morning, Lynnie,’ Mrs. Abernathy says with a smile as we pass her. ‘Doug.’ She practically snarls, and I shake my head.

‘It’ll get better, honey,’ Mama soothes, and I hold the grocery bags a little closer to my chest.

‘Not unless she comes back,’ I admit and keep walking.

As we reach my truck and put the bags in the back, Mama’s attention is focused off in the distance. When she pushes up her sunglasses to get a better look, I can’t help turning to look in the same direction. I don’t know the man walking toward us, but as she steps forward and gasps, I know she does.

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