Page 71 of My Promise To Keep

‘I miss you so much, brother. You should be here celebrating with us tomorrow. You should be running around with a couple of kids and planting roses in the front yard of the perfect home you own right here in town. You deserved it all, Luke. I wanted you to have it all, and that’s why I never said a thing about how I felt. I stepped back and didn’t even try to win because you needed it. You needed her.’ I wipe away more tears, losing the battle to prevent them from falling.

‘I always wonder if after you die, you can see the whole picture. Like, can you see the things that happened before you died or just the stuff that comes after? I wonder if you see me sitting in my bed sketching the lines of her face over and over until I get them right, until they are perfect, all while you were the one holding her hand. It was different then — it was puppy love,infatuation. She was my friend, and it was a crush, but it never went away. Not when you started going out, not when you got married, not when I forced myself to push it to the back of my mind and hated myself for having thoughts that betrayed you. When you asked this of me that day, I was pissed at you, but mostly I was so fuckin’ angry at myself because, underneath the hurt of knowing I was losing you and the confusion at what you were asking, I was excited at the idea of getting my shot with her. How fucked is that?’

Shaking my head, I let the tears fall freely and cry unashamedly.

‘I love you, Luke. You were my brother, my best friend. I looked up to you and respected you, and I wish you were still here. I would never have acted on my feelings for her, but now I can’t stop. I want it all with her, Luke. I want every damn thing she wants to give me.’

I wipe my cheeks and swallow against the lump of emotion, tightening my throat.

‘I’m going to give her the world, brother.’ I push up to stand, pressing my fingers to my mouth and tapping the gravestone in front of me. ‘I miss you.’ Then I walk away.

Don’t tempt me, munch

Zoe

Me:How’s Buck doing?

Leo:He’s so calm — he might be high!

Me:LMAO! Stop it. He is not high.

Leo:I wish he would just go to bed so I can come sneak in your bedroom window.

Me:Leo Bennett, you’re the best man. You’re not leaving your dad’s side tonight.

Leo:Tomorrow then, secret date…

Me:#nakedsleepover!

Leo:You make me laugh, munch!

Me:Good! I always want to make you laugh x

Always. I said always. It’s been less than a week since I showed up outside his shop, and everything’s changed. We’re together, me and Leo. He’s my boyf… nope, not ready to call him my anything, but we are a couple, and I do wantalways.

‘Quit grinning at your phone,’ Bree says, and I look up to find her smiling at me.

‘I just, I…’

‘I get it. You have a man now, but some of us are still desperately single.’

‘And some of us have only fucked sex toys in the past twelve months,’ Missy adds, smirking.

‘I’m sorry. In my defense, I was single for an entire decade aftermy husbanddied,’ I raise my voice and widen my eyes.

‘She dead husbanded us,’ Missy says, flabbergasted, and silence descends for a moment before we all laugh.

‘You don’t need a defense, honey. We’re so happy for you.’ Bree smiles, and I know that they are. Not that I’ve talked much about it. We’re going on a date next week, and once we do that, I’ll feel like I have more I can tell them. Right now, it all feels a little in the air.

‘So how is this going to work tomorrow? Y’all are just going stay away from each other?’

Missy is staying at Bree’s this weekend so she can come to the wedding. She sings in a band from time to time, and they offered to play for free. I can’t wait to hear her.

‘No, that would be weird. Everyone knows we’re friends, so we’ll hang out like we always have.’

‘So, just so we are clear, I know, Missy knows, and Cara knows, but that’s it?’ Bree checks, and I nod.

‘Yeah, that’s all, and Cara doesn’t have all the details because I don’t want to force her to hide stuff from Doug. Mama suspects something, I think, but she hasn’t said anything.’

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