‘Do you know when I stopped thinking about traveling? I don’t remember. I know I had that map on my wall, but I don’t remember ever taking it down.’
‘It was around the time Luke’s mom came to town.’ I feel the frown tighten my brow. ‘You were so scared she was going to take him away, and then, instead, it was even worse when she said she wasn’t.’
I remember now. His mom didn’t come to take him home. She came to tell him she was handing guardianship to Buck. Luke didn’t want to leave town, but he wanted his mom to want him. He was heartbroken and became convinced everyone was going to leave him eventually.
‘He was scared I would leave.’
He never asked me to stay. He never asked me to give up my dreams, but he never wanted to leave Forest Falls, so I chose him. I took down my map, and I made a promise to myself to always be his safe, his secure.
‘What do you want, Zoe? Don’t think, just answer. What do you want?’
I turn my attention up to the sky, then close my eyes, inhaling deeply and blowing it out, one breath at a time.
‘I want to go with Leo.’
‘Because he wants you to?’
‘No.’ The speed of my answer surprises me. ‘No. Because I want to go. When I found out about California, I was hurt thathe hadn’t told me, and then I was so proud and excited for him and this huge opportunity, but I was jealous. I was jealous that he could say yes, that he could go and see these places that he visits, doing what he loves.’ I laugh. ‘That is so dumb, right? I was jealous, but I still said no.’
‘What is the obstacle?’ Grandma shrugs like she already knows she’s going to have an answer for whatever I say.
‘The bar.’
‘Get a manager. Next?’
‘My house and my mortgage. I can’t pay myself like I would if I’m not working and paying a manager.’
‘Well, you know Cara did say Missy was looking for a place to rent in Forest Falls.’
My eyes widen, and she smirks.
‘Next.’ Her arched eyebrow makes me laugh.
‘Grandma.’
‘Come on, baby, we’re on a roll.’
‘Bowie.’
‘Facetime, next?’
‘Oh my god.’
‘You got nothin’.’
‘No, I got nothin’.’
‘Then I guess you’re going to California.’
‘Oh my god.’ Am I really doing this? ‘I have to call him.’
‘Yes, you do.’ She chuckles. ‘Go on, sweetheart.’
I Love Grandma Dee
Zoe
‘Come on, Leo.’ Istare at my cell phone. He’s not answering. Not my calls or my texts — nothing.