Page 7 of My Promise To Keep

It had been this way for almost two weeks since that last night in the hospital. Leo had been my person, the one I needed next to me. I didn’t know how to stop needing him.

‘Come on, munch,’ he said my nickname softly, ‘step two.’

That’s how we broke up the day of the funeral. Step one was the service and burial, step two, the funeral reception at the bar. Step three would be me heading upstairs to my apartment and shutting the door on the second worst day of my life.

‘How you doin’, honey?’ Bree, my twin, my best friend, and the woman I’d pushed aside these last couple of weeks, asked softly as she stepped into the space Leo had temporarily vacated.

‘Bree.’ I turned to her, and she opened her arms, wrapping me up in a hug that I desperately needed.

‘I know, Zo, I know. It’s okay.’

And she did know. Bree and I just understood each other in ways nobody else could. She knew I was apologizing that she wasn’t the one I needed right now, and she was letting me know that it was okay. She’d be there when I needed her.

She’d been the one to bring Leo to me when she couldn’t get me to eat or take a shower. When Mama and Doug had no better luck, she’d thought of him, the one person missing Luke as much as me, and it worked. Just his closeness brought me a sense of peace that I needed. He’d drawn me a bath and encouraged me to the bathroom, then he’d changed my bedsheets and openedmy windows, laid out some clean pajamas, and waited for me to find him in my living room, arms open to me.

I lasted a couple of hours before I reached my limit of sympathy and sought out Leo. He was talking to my brother and our friend, Nick, by the bar. As if he sensed me looking for him, he turned and found my eyes with his, and after squeezing Doug’s shoulder, he headed my way.

‘You okay?’ His concern for me was so genuine, and I knew I had to release him from this.

‘Yeah, I’m done,’ I said quietly. ‘I’m going to head upstairs.’

‘Okay, let’s go.’

‘No, Leo. You don’t have to. The funeral is over now. I have to start getting back to normal.’

With a soft smile, he reached down and took my hand once more.

‘We will, Zo, tomorrow. Step three, remember.’

‘Is this what he made you promise? To take care of me,’ I asked as we sat on my sofa with a bottle of beer each. My black dress had been replaced by PJs, and Leo’s suit, replaced by sweatpants and a hoodie.

He took a long, deep inhale and stared at his thumb as he collected the condensation on the bottle.

‘Nothing I’ve ever done or will continue to do for you is out of obligation to him, Zo.’

He glanced up to meet my gaze, and I nodded.

‘I know, but…’

‘He asked me to be there for you, yeah, but I always would have been, regardless.’

‘You always have been,’ I admitted, and it was true. Leo had been in my life almost all of it — since I was five and he was two. And although he was my brother’s best friend and Luke’s cousin,he and I had always shared a special connection, and he had always been there for me.

‘What did he make you promise?’

I fought the lump in my throat as I remembered a night just a few months ago after finding out I was going to lose my husband before I was even twenty-five. He held me in his arms, numb from the news that had shocked us, silently praying for a miracle when he had asked me to make him a promise that seemed impossible, that still seemed impossible now, but for him, for my Luke, I was sure as hell going to try.

‘He made me promise to live.’

Did He Always Look Like That?

Zoe

Eight (and a half) years ago

Leo:Munch!!

Me:Quit bothering me. I’m working!

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