Page 6 of My Promise To Keep

So Young, So Unfair

Zoe

Eleven Years Ago

‘Leo,’ I gasped asI reached the now familiar corridor and saw the expression on his face. I panicked. Was I too late? ‘Traffic was bad, and I couldn’t park and…’

‘Go.’ He ushered me into the room with heartbreak in his eyes, and I rushed through the door.

‘Baby.’ The word came out as a desperate whisper, punctuated by the tremble of fear and sadness in my voice as I made my way to his side and took his hand in mine.

This is so unfair. It was a silly thing to think. I knew that, and yet it was the loudest thought I had.

‘I love you,’ I whispered as my tears fell and the gentle curve of his lips proved he was still with me.

‘Zo.’

The sound of his voice, saying my name the way he had a million times before, squeezed my heart and forced a sob out of me. Don’t cry in front of him, Zoe, I scolded myself. But I couldn’t stop them now, no matter how hard I tried.

I knew the end was here, and my heart was in tatters.

‘Don’t leave me,’ I whispered, lowering my forehead to our joined hands on the bed just to feel his touch on my skin. ‘I don’t know how to do this without you.’

I sucked in a breath and cried against the scratchy hospital blanket as his fingers moved weakly against my hair.

‘Live,’ he said softly, and it was enough to bring me back. I’d promised, and I was not going to break it.

Sitting up, I took a deep, steadying breath and wiped my tears, then looked into the eyes of the man I thought I had forever with. Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to his, then to his cheek and his forehead.

‘I will live, Luke. I promise you.’

I fought the lump in my throat; save your tears. There’ll be plenty of time for tears soon.

‘Love.’ He took a shallow breath, the effort of trying to say more than one word exhausting him. ‘You.’

‘Baby, rest.’ I raised my hand to his cheek, feeling him press weakly against my touch as his eyes drifted closed.

‘Munch,’ I turned to the door to see Leo leaning against the frame, and I gestured to the chair opposite.

Moving to the chair, Leo sat and reached out for Luke’s other hand, causing my husband’s eyes to flutter open again and turn to his cousin.

‘I know,’ Leo said before Luke forced himself to say anything. ‘I know. I promise.’

In his stronger days, the days right after his diagnosis, after they told us he wasn’t coming back from this, Luke had sat down with all the people he loved most in the world and made us promise not to let his death break us. I know he made my brother and sister promise never to let me forget who I was, never let me lose the fire in my belly. He made me promise to live, to do all the things we were supposed to do together, to fall in love again. I don’t know what Leo promised Luke, but I saw in his eyes that it meant a lot, and he’d do it. He’d do anything for Luke.

‘Zoe.’ Leo’s voice, strong after the weakness in Luke’s, jolted me, and I turned my gaze on him, stalling at the tears in his eyes before turning my attention back to Luke and feeling my world come to a stop.

My husband, a man so full of life and joy, my silly, happy, strong man, was gone.

‘I’m so sorry foryour loss.’

‘My condolences, sweetie.’

‘So young, so unfair.’

I stared straight ahead as the stream of people held my hands and spoke their soft, sweet words. I couldn’t look them in the eyes. I couldn’t look at anything but the hole in the ground in front of me.

The firm grip on my hand loosened, and I felt a moment of panic,no, don’t let go, please. But he didn’t. He just changed his grip, lacing his fingers with mine and stroking his thumb slowly up and down my index finger.

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