Page 43 of My Promise To Keep

The night I saw Zoe in that restaurant, things started to change, and then that night after Bowie’s birthday party, I realized that I had to do this. I had to show her it was me.

She’s still dating. If I don’t get her on board with us — if I can’t convince her that we are supposed to be together, she’ll fall for one of the guys she’s dating, and before long, I’ll be getting invitations to engagement parties, weddings, and kids’ birthday parties.

I already saw her marry another man. It’s not happening again. The next time Zoe says I do, I’ll be the man holding her hands.

The night I sat next to her on the roof of her bar, I felt more clarity than I had in years, and it had me floating on air. I walked her home that night, kissed her cheek, and told her I’d see her soon, and now I’m just counting down the days to this weekend when I get to do just that. I have the makings of a plan — still a bit to figure out, but step one happens this weekend.

Fi sits on the stool next to my chair and reaches for her sketchbook.

‘Does it have something to do with a special someone?’

I turn to look at her, my gaze narrowing. Can she read minds now?

‘What the hell are you talking about, Fiona?’

‘Well,’ she grabs a pencil and starts sketching as she talks. ‘You don’t seem to have been hitting the bars recently…’

‘Fi.’ Gus groans, but she continues.

‘You came back from Seattle and went out a few times after work, but then you just started working out more and coming into work fresh as a daisy, drinking water instead of coffee.’

I huff out a laugh. Are those the signs of a man in love?

‘I had no idea you were monitoring my social life so closely. August, you okay with your girl focusing so hard on another man?’

‘Oh, shut up. I’m just looking out for you, Leo. I want to see you happy.’

I take a breath, then blow it out, and in an uncharacteristic move, I prepare to answer Fi’s question, if only because I can’t speak to Doug about this.

‘Yes, Fi, it has to do with a special someone.’ Man, that felt good to say out loud. Fi’s eyes light up, and she turns her full attention on me. ‘It’s complicated, but yeah, it was time to change a few things up.’

‘Complicated how?’

‘Fi, baby, leave the man alone.’ Gus stands behind the reception desk where he is checking the appointment book, and I shake my head from my seat next to Fi at the sketch station we have set up.

‘Nah, she’s okay. It’s good to talk, actually.’ I surprise myself by admitting that out loud and watch as Gus moves to start opening up the shop for the day.

‘So…’ Fi pushes, and I turn to her, lowering my voice. With the door unlocked, I feel the need to keep this personal talk quiet, even though it’s still just us three here.

‘Complicated because she wants serious, and she doesn’t think I can do that.’

‘Can you?’

‘For her, I can do anything.’

Fi pulls back and grins. ‘Shit, boss. That was romantic.’ I laugh, and she puts her hand on my forearm. ‘So how are you going to prove to her that you can give her what she needs?’

‘That I don’t know yet. I’ve been focused on proving it to myself first, making sure I can be the man she needs and deserves before I give myself to her. Dropping the random hookups was easy, knowing I was doing it for her, but it’s going to take more than that to make her see I’m serious.’

My reaction to the pregnancy test robbed me of a year and a half. We could have been together if I’d just reacted differently, and the worst part of that is she read it wrong. I wasn’t relieved it was negative. I was lost in the idea of us: me and her and our baby. I was happily picturing the future, already certain the test was positive.

I could have told her that. I should have, but I didn’t. More proof I wasn’t the man she needed me to be. I am now.

‘Is she here, in the city?’ I see the sparkle in her eye in the way she asks that question. She knows who I’m talking about.

‘No, she lives in the town I grew up in.’

‘Hmm.’ She presses her lips together and starts sketching again.

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