Page 37 of My Promise To Keep

‘Zo.’

‘Don’t.’

Shit. She was pissed.

‘I…’

‘I said don’t.’ She took a sip of her coffee, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, so I just sat awkwardly, waiting.

Zoe put her cup down and passed me a cup I hadn’t noticed. I took it gratefully.

‘Is it poisoned?’ I chanced a small smile, but she didn’t reciprocate.

‘I considered it.’ She sipped again, and I risked it, doing the same.

‘Zoe, I’m so…’

‘Do you not understand whatdon’tmeans?’ she snapped, glaring at me. ‘I don’t want your apology. Your behavior last night was unacceptable, Leo. You were completely out of line.’

‘I know, I jus…’

‘I’m not done.’ I shut up. ‘You embarrassed yourself, your date, my date, and you completely humiliated me. Not to mention, I liked him, Leo, and you fucked that for me.’ That was a punch to the gut. ‘I don’t know you.’ Oh, no,thatwas a punch to the gut, and the way the breath rushed out of me, you’d think it really was. ‘That guy I saw last night, he was a complete stranger to me. I didn’t know you were capable of acting that way, of putting me in that position, but now I do, and I can’t ever forget that. Things were left complicated between us. We let shit hang in the air between us, so I’m clearing it up right now.’ She put down her cup and stood. ‘Me and you, Leo, we’re done. You are Doug’s best friend, that’s all. You need to stay away from me because I need to move forward, and I cannot do that with you in my life, even on the outskirts.’

‘Zoe, please I…’

‘No.’ I heard the hitch in her voice. I saw the way her bottom lip trembled, but I didn’t move. I didn’t try to fight her on this. ‘I stayed here last night to make sure you didn’t choke on your vomit or something, that’s all. You didn’t, so I’m leaving now.’

She turned toward the door, and I panicked, so I stood in a rush, my hand coming to my head as my brain rattled against my skull.

‘Zoe, I’m sorry. I’m so fuckin’ sorry, munch, but please, just stay, talk to me.’

She tilted her head, inhaling shakily as the tears in her eyes escaped, and I saw it — she really was done with me.

‘I’m walking away, Leo. It’s time.’

And with a shake of her head, she picked up her purse and did just that.

I Meant It

Zoe

Four Months Ago

Paint on a smile,Zoe, I told myself as I applied another coat of lipstick. You can do this.

‘Ready?’ Bree asked brightly, and I nodded.

‘Born ready, Bree Bree.’

We left our hotel room and walked down the corridor to collect our friends Cara and Missy from theirs, then headed out. It was girls’ night, and I was putting on a good show of wanting to be there.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be out with my favorite girls. I did, but it was the other part — the part I fucking hated myself for but couldn’t seem to stop. The part where I made a big song and dance about looking for a man when the truth was, I had lost all interest in meeting anybody.

It was the same old cycle of the same kind of man, and there was no spark with any of them.

I’d got myself into this mess. I’d made the mistake of telling Bree that I was ready to start dating again. In her defense, I thought I was. I thought I had to so that I could move forward, but I didn’t think it all the way through; I forgot that when I told my sister that, it would become a project for her.

Bree paid for my dating app subscriptions as her gift to me, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I didn’t want any of it. So, I sucked it up. I dated, and I got laid, which I couldn’t really complain about. I mean, a girl has needs, right? But the truth was, nothing felt right, nothing stuck, and I knew why — none of them were him.

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