Page 26 of My Promise To Keep

‘Because you two have been circling each other forever, Zo. It’s obvious you like him, and he more than likes you.’

‘He’s Doug’s best friend.’

‘He’s your best friend too.’

‘He’s Luke’s cousin.’

‘Luke has been gone a long time.’ I sucked in a breath at that. ‘Honey, I guarantee there’s nobody Luke would have wanted it to be more than Leo.’

I sagged back against her countertop.

‘I’m not ready. I thought I was, but the second it was over, I cried, and he felt like shit. I saw that.’

‘Honey.’ She stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. ‘It was the first time, and it wasn’t just sex, it was Leo. That’s big, Zo. Having all these emotions is normal.’

‘I wanted it, Bree. I don’t think he would have done anything, but I was so…’

‘Sweetie, start at the beginning, okay?’

I did. I told her everything about the way I felt when he was tattooing me, to the night with him in his apartment when he offered to take me on the practice date. I told her about being with him that night, how we laughed and talked and flirted, how beautiful and caring he was, and I told her how I’d pretended I’d forgotten my PJs and put on his t-shirt instead. How I wanted it — wanted something to happen, and it was amazing, butthe guilt hit me immediately. I felt like I’d betrayed the man I wanted to spend forever with, and that betrayal physically hurt.

‘Oh, Zoe.’ Bree held my hands as we sat on her couch.

‘I hurt him, Bree. I didn’t mean to, but I saw it. I hurt him.’

‘Leo will understand, sweetie, but you need to talk to him. You need to explain.’

But I didn’t. Instead, when she left the room, I pulled out my cell phone and sent him a text.

Me:I’m sorry, Leo.

And he didn’t reply.

I Guess You Got It Wrong

Leo

Five Years Ago

Well, that sucked.

I just spent the last hour passing Zoe on the stairwell and in her apartment, both of us trying not to touch each other but also trying not to make it look as awkward as fuck.

Bree for sure knew what had happened, but Doug absolutely did not.

‘Why did you have to fall for her?’ I asked the patch of grass beneath me. I was leaning against Luke’s gravestone with a four-pack of beers, one down, two and a half to go.

‘If you had just been her friend, I could have loved her without giving a fuck what anyone had to say.’ I leaned my head back against the cold stone. ‘Or you could have just lived. If you hadn’t died, I’d have never let my feelings get the better of me.’

I took a swig of beer. I knew I was being dumb.

‘I miss her, Luke. I miss her so damn much, but we just can’t be in each other’s lives anymore.’ I laughed, but it was humorless. ‘Then her dumb fuck of a brother had to go knock up his fuckin’ ex, and now there’s going to be a baby that brings us all together on the regular. One big goddam happy family.’

‘You were right. I loved her before you did.’ Another swig. ‘I have to get her out of my head, brother. I need to move on because it ain’t me she wants. It’s you, it will always be you.’

I opened another can and poured it into the grass for him.

‘I miss you, Luke. I hate this.’

---