Page 44 of Bad for You

“You are what I say you are.”

A string of Italian profanities spills from her, and I can’t keep the smirk from my face.

When she sees where we’re heading, those profanities turn to pleas.

“No, you wouldn’t. Please no.”

Too late.

I toss her into the lake without a second thought.

The splash she makes has me chuckling. She’s going to be so mad.

She splutters as she breaks the surface, but she needs to be taught a lesson as she seems to listen when Gianna lays them down. I walk into the water, and when she tries to stand, I shove her back down. She peers up at me, surprised.

“Oops, I slipped.”

A scream tears from her throat as she frantically fights against the water and the weight of her dress to stand. But the only way to achieve what I need is for her to fear me.

She once trusted me, and look what happened.

No, that won’t work.

I hate myself for it, but I remind myself this is all part of the plan to save her, and I guess for that to happen, I have to show her how badly she wants to live.

Forgive me…

Before she has a chance to find her footing, I grip the back of her neck and shove her head into the water, holding her down. She fights frantically, but I don’t let her go.

Her hands skim the water, tugging at invisible hands to help her.

But the only person who can help her is herself.

I count to fifteen before lifting her face out of the water, but I don’t let her stand.

“You fucker!” she wheezes, slapping her fists against the water. “Let me go!”

I do the opposite and shove her face back down again.

My heart hurts. But a part of me also likes it.

It’s the part that makes Valentina and me one and the same.

I understand her because Iamher.

I too get off on the violence.

I too feel most alive in the blood and chaos.

But I don’t want that life for her.

I grapple with my morals every single day, and sometimes, I’m afraid the demons will conquer me because it’s so much easier being bad than being good.

I yank her face out of the water, enraged. “Killing a man makes you feel alive? Is that it?”

She struggles madly, the fight in her never dying. And I don’t expect anything less. That is why Gianna will use her as her most powerful weapon.

She will destroy the innocent girl who looked at me with terror but curiosity from that attic window. And I’m afraid she will never look at me like that again.

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