Page 39 of Bad for You

It also leaves me breathless.

But the pain—it hurts so good.

He pulls away slowly, and the kiss is chaste. I don’t understand why he did this. He reads my confusion as he runs his thumb across the apple of my cheek.

“I want you to remember this night for something else.”

Kiss and kill…

Kill and kiss…

My first kiss.

My first kill.

And I don’t know what’s worse.

His words touch me because he would rather replace the violence with something tender. He knows this changes everything. But is he attempting to save me before I am lost forevermore?

I don’t make a fuss and nod.

But little does Lenny know, he saved me long ago.

There is so much fucking blood.

Most would be terrified of the girl in front of me, but to me, Valentina is a fucking goddess, slathered in her enemy’s blood.

I’ve never seen her as a sister. And Gianna never raised us this way for a reason. She will wage a war between us one day and use us for her own personal gain. I don’t trust her, but Valentina does.

And that is why I have stayed away.

I cannot grow too close to her because, in the end, it’ll destroy us both.

Gianna is right—love makes you weak. Having someone you would die for is collateral. So I detach as best I can even though it kills me to know that Valentina doesn’t think I care.

It’s because I do care that I pretend she doesn’t exist.

But tonight, I could not.

Gianna will no doubt be pissed I snuck away, but the thought of Valentina being here alone, with this motherfucker; I just couldn’t deal.

But I should have known she could take care of herself.

However, walking into the carnage I did was something I did not expect.

She is broken, and I’m afraid that perhaps she is too far gone. So much has happened to her. She has known nothing but hate.

And that is why I kissed her because I wanted to replace the memories of her first kill with her first kiss instead.

Kiss or kill.

Kill or kiss.

Both have the ability to destroy one forevermore. I just hope that maybe she’ll clutch on to the small shred of light and not be consumed by the darkness eating away at her.

I’m an adult. I can leave at any time. But I don’t, and that’s because I can’t leave Valentina. The need to protect her, which was ingrained in me from the moment we met, hasn’t gone away. It’s only grown.

So I stay.

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