Page 28 of Bad for You

I sniff back my staged tears as I push out my bottom lip.

Lenny’s face softens.

My heart breaks.

The moment he reaches out for me, I think of my mother—the faceless woman who never gave me a chance. She had borne me into this world only to abandon me.

What sort of a person does that?

And my father, nothing but an animal.

What hope was there for me? With two parents such as mine, was I always destined to be this way?

Perhaps that is why Father Merry singled me out. Did he sense I was the root of evil and only fated to commit horrific acts in the vein of my father and mother?

Did I deserve the acts bestowed on me?

As a flash of light strikes the heavens, I realize that no, this isn’t my fault. I didn’t deserve what was done to me, and I’ll be damned if I let those who hurt me dictate my life a second longer.

I am not weak.

I’m a survivor.

I could have given up, but I didn’t.

And I promise here and now, under the starless sky, that those who wronged me will pay. But first, I need to think with my head and not my heart. Because if you can fight the one you love and beat them…then you can fight anyone.

“It’s okay,” Lenny says once again, kindness swimming in those vibrant eyes.

I take his hand and relish this moment of warmth because I’m certain it will be my last. The moment is soon replaced with fire when I remember all the horrible things I’ve endured, and I thrive on that to draw Lenny toward me, catching him unawares.

He underestimated me—he won’t ever do that again.

No one will.

“I’d never hurt y—”

Before he has a chance to break my heart further, I finish this quick. I don’t want to delay gratification. It hurts too much. Iwon’t win fighting him, so I draw my knee up and connect with what’s between his legs.

His eyes widen, clearly stunned, before he drops to the ground, wheezing for air.

I take no pleasure in seeing him in pain, but as I turn to look at Gianna, I see that she does—or rather, she is pleased I did what she said.

“Good,piccola. What did you learn?”

I think over her question because I know this too is part of her test.

Lenny has gotten up but is sure to stand far away. I don’t blame him. The betrayal he feels is written all over his face. I know this changes everything between us now.

Is that what Gianna wanted all along?

But I need him to know why I did what I did, and maybe he can find it in his heart to forgive. Or, at the very least, understand my actions.

With eyes locked with his, I reply, “If you can fight the one you…love and beat them…then you can fight anyone.”

Gianna nods while my confession only seems to incite Lenny further.

“Very good. We will meet again tomorrow morning at nine o’clock.” Gianna leaves me alone with Lenny, who doesn’t say a word.

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