Page 102 of Bad for You

And the only way to repair that heart is to rip out the heart of the monster who created you.

This has been a long time coming, and I guess I was biding my time, waiting for the right moment. But there will never be a right time to kill the motherfucker who destroyed your innocence because he deserves to die a thousand deaths.

But alas, humanity doesn’t allow it.

So I’ll just have to make sure the one death is as painful as a lifetime of torture.

Switching off the water, I’m on autopilot as I dry off and hunt through my drawers for what to wear.

A white nightgown.

I plait my hair into two pigtails just like he used to. Tonight is about being reborn, and what better way to welcome my arrival into the world than by ending the life of the asshole who stole mine.

I slip into my combat boots and slide my knife snugly inside.

When I look at my appearance in the mirror, a sense of happiness fills me. Most girls would be gushing over what’s in fashion, but not me. I only feel any shred of emotion when bloodshed is looming.

I’ve accepted that I’m beyond fucked up, and the only way to deal with it is to give in to my temptations, not fight them. Fighting is fruitless. This is who I am. Who I was always destined to become.

I sneak out of my bedroom, ignoring the pang of regret I have for leaving Lenny behind. But he made his choice. We will never be on the same side. We may love one another, but our determination and individual needs will always stand in the way of us ever living side by side in harmony.

My only love sprang from my only hate…

I don’t know what that means for us, but I realize I can only ever rely on myself.

Trusting others only ever gets you hurt. Or forces you to watch the boy you love getting felt up by two other women.

Looks like he made good on his word as I remember what he said.

“If you don’t say it, I’ll make you watch me fuck someone else, tesoro mio.”

The memories only incite this inner rage, and I jump into my car, taking off into the dark night where I’m one with the shadows, just how I’ve always been.

I’m a robot behind the wheel.

My mind is clear.

I wish I could say I was hit with an epiphany, and I uncovered all of life’s mysteries. That I saw the light, and I was saved.

I wish for so many things, but there’s no fighting biology.

Or fate.

I was born a killer.

Fighting my nature is a battle I’ll always lose.

And I’m sick of trying to be good because when I pull up by St. Maria’s Orphanage, there’s apparently no good inside me.

There never was.

The mask I wore has been ripped away, and this is my true face—the face of a killer.

And now, the only thing I can do is embrace the real me.

I don’t bother concealing my car. I don’t care if he knows I’m approaching. I think he always knew this day would come.

My boots sound softly against the pavement, the only noise filling the still night. It feels as though nothing living inhabits the surroundings because things only come to St. Maria’s to wither and decay until all that’s left is a shell of what once was.

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