Page 101 of Bad for You

Gianna laughs, humored. “You can try, but you will always fail because I own the one thing that means anything to you.”

Her comment infuriates me, and I lunge forward, the chains the only thing protecting her from my fury. “You don’t own her.”

“You know that’s not true.” She steps forward, standing on her toes as she whispers into my ear, “If it were, I wouldn’t be able to control her the way I can.”

I don’t think twice as I connect with her forehead, headbutting her.

Her arrogance gets the better of her as I catch her off guard. She stumbles backward, stunned. I lunge forward, the chains rattling, restricting me from ripping off her head and fucking the wound.

“Valentina, you are no better than her if you don’t stop this!”

But she doesn’t listen.

She drags Bria by the hair and lifts her, slamming her back against the wall as she restrains her once again. I guess it’s a small miracle she didn’t kill her.

I look at Valentina, wondering where the innocent girl I once knew has gone because the person I see now is a replica of the monster who raised us.

She walks over to me and cups my chin between two fingers. There is nothing heartfelt about the touch.

“You make me sick.”

I grin in response. “The feeling is more than mutual, sweetheart.”

And I mean every single word.

I hate and love her all in the same breath.

Gianna has finally won; Valentina and I are on opposing teams, and I wonder who will win.

She slaps my cheek before leaving me for good.

I’ve scrubbed my skin raw, yet I still feel so dirty.

What the fuck have I done?

I stand under the shower spray, and the water is so hot, it feels like my skin is peeling. But the pain is a reminder that I’m alive.

I fucked up.

But I didn’t think Gianna would harm Lenny. I gave her Bria on the proviso that Lenny was to remain unharmed. But she lied.

I thought it would finally be over and that my mom could live the life she deserved with Aldo paying for his sins. But all I did was make things so much worse.

I don’t know how to make this better.

I could go to Aldo and tell him what I did and perhaps strike a deal with him. But if I do that, I know I’m dead. He won’t forgive me. Look at what he did to my mom.

The one person I would go to for advice is chained in the basement, and it’s all my fault.

I need to make this right, but images of him responding to Bria’s touch have tears burning my eyes. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t understand why I have such loyalty to Gianna and my mother—neither woman cares about me. Look what they’ve done to me. The only person who cared now hates my guts, and he has every right to.

I lower my chin, the water cascading around me, drowning out the voices in my head. I’m so fucked up. I wish I wasn’t, but I’m damaged goods, and I don’t know how to fix it.

But perhaps that’s where I’ve gone wrong.

I don’t think I can ever be “fixed.” I doubt I’ll ever be normal, and I realize I like Lenny because he is busted up inside like me. We are two halves of the same broken heart.

---