Gritting my teeth, I stopped short and pinned him with a glare. “Run away from what? The fucking past?” I narrowed my eyes, but Connor didn’t react at all. “I realize this may be hard for you to understand, Connor, but not all of us need decades to process things. We lost a friend. It was fucking war! And yes, recent shit has brought those memories back, but my choosing to focus on the good rather than fixate on life’s fuckery doesn’t make me broken; it simply makes me different.”
Tense silence stretched between us for a long moment before he finally shifted his gaze away from mine and offered a thin smile.
“Lot of emotion in that little speech.”
“Fuck off,” I growled under my breath as I turned away to continue trudging up the hill. He fell into step with me once again, but I said nothing.
“Sorry,” he offered, but all I could manage was an annoyed grunt in response. We continued on in silence, and with each breath, my irritation eased a little more. It wasn’t his fault that he struggled to understand. Stars, it had taken me decades to accept that he needed time to brood and mope and stew over things while I didn’t.
When he finally spoke again, thankfully it was to change the subject though to an equally difficult one.
“You think Sera will be able to help those kids?”
The image of the pair with their clothes stained from their family’s blood invaded my thoughts. Pulling in a long breath, Itried to picture them playing with my niece and nephew, helping my sister in the garden and around the house. “I wouldn’t have sent them there if I didn’t.”
“I can’t believe she’s a Shadow Keeper,” Connor said, and I nearly wished we could go back to our previous discussion. Nearly.
“My scouts’ reports from Arenysen corroborate the kids’ recount. Word of it has spread quickly, and more and more humans are fleeing into Kinham and Wrenwick.”
Connor hummed. “I can understand why she’d hide her power, especially with how misunderstood it is. But how did she conceal it from everyone? Do you think Brennan knew?”
Shrugging, I frowned at him. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. It’s amazing what someone can hide from others when needed. Shame? Fear? Either would be powerful motives to keep such magic a secret.”
“I wonder if she’s like the last Shadow Keeper we met,” Connor asked, a hint of worry in his tone. If he was trying to force me to face our past to acknowledge some deep-seated, repressed emotions, this was a shitty way to do it.
I bit back my curse as the memory surged forward like a tidal wave summoned by Connor’s stars-damned words.
In my head, black eyes stared back at me—empty abysses of malice threatening to swallow me whole. Long-forgotten screams pierced my consciousness as I relived the scene of Gabriel rushing at the Shadow Keeper on that distant battlefield. Then shadows flooded the image, and my nerves pulled taut as I once again watched the darkness smother him, silencing his screams. I wiped the image from my mind only to have it replaced by those blood-covered kids stumbling out of the trees.
Peering back at Connor, I whispered, “I sure as fuck hope not.”
By the time we reached the gravel of the palace driveway, my stomach was grumbling, begging me to move faster to discover what Mrs. Bishop had prepared for lunch. Disappointment sank like a stone in the pit of my gut, though, when I noticed the official courier standing beside his horse, watching us approach.
I slowed my pace to allow Connor to greet the messenger, noting the Arenysen seal—a fox draped in ivy—fixed to his jacket and to his horse’s blanket. I stopped a respectful distance away but angled my head so I could still listen to their exchange.
“Official word from Her Majesty, Queen of Arenysen,” the courier said, dipping his sharp chin shrewdly as he handed a thick envelope to Connor.
“And the nature of this message?” Connor asked, eyeing the envelope he now held in his hand.
“Not my place to say, Your Highness. I’m to deliver these to the lords of each of your villages.”
Connor swept an arm toward the stables. “Could your horse use a rest? We are happy to offer you and your mount whatever you need before you continue on.”
“Much thanks, Your Highness, but I mustn’t delay. Matter of urgency, I’m afraid,” he said before quickly turning his horse around and galloping away.
“A tournament?” Lieke balked at the letter she held, reading it over again as she paced in front of the cold fireplace. She stopped and glanced up over the paper at me and then toConnor. “I can’t believe they’re forcing her to remarry so soon, but what is she thinking?”
“If I were to venture a guess, I’d say she’s wanting to avoid having to actually choose someone,” I said from my seat on the sofa.
Connor, sitting in his usual armchair, met his wife’s stare. “I agree. Assuming she chose Brennan out of love?—”
“We know she did,” Lieke asserted, and Connor offered a sympathetic smile before continuing.
“She’s likely trying to protect her heart from being hurt again.”
I leaned forward and cleared my throat. “Regardless of why she’s doing this, we’re sending someone to compete, yes?”
Connor nodded slowly. “One male from each village is to compete.”