Page 195 of Once the Skies Fade

He shifted his eyes to Calla, his features tightening with regret.

Lieke, finally finding her voice, broke through the awkward silence. “I’m so glad to see you, Calla,” she said, approaching cautiously, as if she were afraid my mate might run off as she had the last time she had visited.

“Me too, friend,” Calla said, and slipping her hand from mine, she threaded her arm through Lieke’s and started to lead her toward the house. “Would you help me get ready?”

“Of course,” Lieke said. As they walked away, she sneaked a glance at me and whispered to Calla. “As long as you tell me everything that’s happened between you two.”

Nudging Connor with my elbow, I pulled my mouth into a lopsided grin. “Lieke still hasn’t learned that we can hear her whispers, has she?”

Connor uttered a single laugh. “No, she just gave up trying to speak that quietly.”

We started to follow our wives back to the palace when Connor stopped abruptly.

“What is it?” I asked, foolishly thinking it was something serious that had given him pause.

His features tightened, and he seemed to be searching the air for something. “You got married,” he started.

“I did.”

“Without me.”

“If it makes you feel any better, my sister wasn’t there either,” I said, frowning. “Is it that big of a deal?”

Connor shook his head slowly. “No, it’s not. I just would have liked to say I told you so.”

Chapter 100

Calla

King Durand’s burial service was a beautiful, intimate affair, with only close friends in attendance. The last of the guests, having offered their condolences to Connor and Lieke, strode away through the garden gate and back to their waiting carriages and horses. Connor, tucking Lieke’s hand into the crook of his arm, nodded toward the palace. Matthias started to follow them but stopped when my feet refused to move.

“You okay, Killer?” he asked, turning to face me fully and stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.

I offered a few slight nods and glanced down to where Brennan’s grave sat nearby. Matthias smiled gently, saying nothing as he leaned in close and feathered a kiss to my forehead. Finding my eyes again, he whispered, “I’ll be inside.”

I didn’t move until Matthias disappeared through the back door of the palace. Brushing away a stray tear, I made my way slowly across the garden to the simple gray stone marked with Brennan’s name and the words “Beloved brother, son, and husband. Always missed. Never forgotten.”

Crumpling to the ground, I ignored the wave of pain that shot through my knees as they landed heavily. With light fingers, I traced the letters of his name etched in the stone. Pulling inthe garden air—the smell of freshly turned dirt and fallen leaves filling my lungs and calming my nerves—I exhaled slowly, trying to find the words I needed to say.

With a quick glance over my shoulder to ensure I was alone, I bent my head low and stared at the grass around my knees. I didn’t stop my shadows as they spilled out of my hands to gather around the stone, as if saying farewell to the male who never knew of this power I possessed.

“I should have told you, Brennan,” I whispered. “I should have trusted you with this piece of me.”

My shadows weaved their way around me, wrapping me in their cool embrace.

“I miss you. I miss you so much. I want you to know, though, that I’m okay now. Not perfect…but better.”

Maybe this was stupid, thinking he could hear me.

Does he need to hear me for these words to matter?

I shook my head at myself. No. These words were as much for me as they were for Brennan, and they deserved a voice.

“I found my mate. And part of me…” I paused to swallow back a sob. “Part of me is so furious with the stars for insisting I lose you in order to find him. But immortal as we may be, death has shown me just how fragile and precious our time here is. I don’t want to waste it being angry anymore. I choose to be thankful for the time we had, because you taught me how to love, how to keep going, and how to laugh even through the hard times.”

A tear-soaked giggle tumbled from my lips as Brennan’s mischievous smile popped into my thoughts, quickly shifting into Matthias’s equally wicked grin and a twinge of guilt sparked in my chest.

“He makes me laugh,” I said, wiping away more tears. “And he saw me—all of me—and accepted me, darkness and all. He made me want to be better. He reminded me that there isgood in this world, and that I am allowed to have some of that goodness.”

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