Page 149 of Once the Skies Fade

“The bond,” Raven said quietly.

My fingers quivered against my lips, and my shadows peeked out slowly of their own volition, as if checking to make sure I was okay. How could the bond have done this, though? It bound me to Matthias, sure, but how could it change my attitude toward the humans?

I glanced up at her through my lashes. “What about the bond? How do you know about it?”

“About your bond with him or in general?”

I risked lifting my face a little higher. “Both.”

“Your staff talk, and it’s easy to forget that Sera is part fae. Good hearing and all that.”

“But how could the bond change…this?” I waved my hand between us. “How did it curb my anger?”

Raven shifted her head to the other side and pursed her lips for a moment before finally speaking, but she answered my questions with one of her own. “What do the humans have to do with Brennan?”

My head jerked up, eyes flying wide. I parted my lips to speak, though there was nothing I could say that wouldn’t be hindered by Minerva’s magic. I couldn’t even explain to the woman why I couldn’t answer. Her brow flinched at my silence.

“So theyarerelated somehow,” she muttered, more to herself than to me. Her expression softened then, her eyes brimming not with pity, but empathy, as if she actually understood me—though that was preposterous.

Softly, she asked, “How do you feel about Brennan?”

“I love him,” I snapped.

“I never claimed otherwise,” Raven said, her tone still patient, calm. “I’m sure you still do—in a way. Has it changed at all? I don’t mean over time, but suddenly—drastically.”

I started to shake my head and deny it, but my gaze shifted away from her as I forced myself to truly consider it. As soon as Matthias had kissed me and the bond had formed, something else had been severed, like my connection to Brennan had been a simple thread. So easily broken when my heart had been pulled toward Matthias’s.

“How?” I asked, barely over a whisper.

Raven raised one shoulder. “From what I’ve pieced together—talking to folks here and there over the last few years—when mates find each other and their bond forms, all former connections fade, and any connections they might try to forge in the future will never be as strong as the one with their mate.”

“So, you think because I don’t feel as strongly for Brennan as before, I—what?—no longer care about punishing the humans?”

“Do you have a better explanation for why you don’t want to kill me?”

“I could still kill you,” I noted.

Her expression didn’t shift at all. “Undoubtedly, but that’s not really the point, is it? You don’twantto kill me now.”

I twisted my lips into a small smirk. “Keep testing my patience and I might soon.”

Chuckling quietly, she flashed me another smile. “Can I ask you something though?” I nodded, and she continued without hesitation. “What will you do about the bond? Will you choose it or walk away?”

The last two words stung like sharp barbs in my chest. It was none of this woman’s business what I did, but for some reason, I found myself choosing to answer her. “I don’t think I can. Walk away, that is.”

“So why are you hesitating?”

Pressing my lips firmly together, I shook my head before letting it drop wearily to my chest again. “I’m so tired.”

“Of what?”

“Being afraid.” Why was I admitting this to her? I didn’t know this woman, and I’d never even spoken to Isa about this. Fear was weakness. Weakness was unacceptable. But now that I’d said it, I couldn’t seem to stop the rest from spilling out. “I’m afraid that no one would ever believe me—believe my...” I tried to spit out the wordinnocence, but Minerva’s curse stanched my voice. “That everyone would believe the rumors, believe me unfit to rule. That I’d lose my kingdom and my crown. And not simply that I’d never want to love again, but that I’d never becapableof loving again.”

“What would Brennan want for you?” she asked.

Instinctively a part of me balked at her candidness, to ask such personal questions, but another part—smaller, more fragile—was grateful she did. Isa knew me too well; she was too close to me to ask me the hard questions she knew I’d never want to face. She could give tough love when necessary, but sometimes she shied away, caving to my need to be strong and in control.

“You don’t have to answer,” Raven said when I remained quiet. “But it is something to think about. I won’t ask what your feelings are for Matthias, but I do hope you’ll give him a chance.”

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