He’s probably respecting your space.
Why did he have to be so stars-damned fucking perfect?
He’s not perfect, Calla.
He’s just here.
And he’s skilled.
That’s all.
I couldn’t let myself think about what would happen at the end of this tournament—couldn’t worry about him winning or losing or which outcome I preferred. I just needed to get through this next citizens’ forum.
Standing outside the Great Hall, I listened to the quiet thrum of conversation on the other side of my personal entrance. I’d taken a double dose of Jocelyn’s tea in hopes it would give me more control over my shadows than usual, but still I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking as I wrung them at my waist. My heart thumped against my sternum, beating out the seconds as they passed. I hadn’t met with my subjects in weeks, but it seemed more like months with how frayed my nerves were.
I straightened my shoulders, sucking in as deep a breath as I could, and lifted my chin. Exhaling through my mouth, I imagined pushing out every anxious thought and feeling. Based on the grievance reports I’d reviewed, this should have been simple enough, but with the added audience of the Assembly and my suitors, I couldn’t shake the apprehension that today was more a trial for me than for any of the competing males.
I was the one being tested here––but then, every day was a test for a queen suspected of murdering her husband.
There won’t be any humans here today.
They are only bringing forth the grievances I reviewed, and those are simple.
I’ll be fine.
The door in front of me opened, and Isa poked her head out. Spying me, her face lit up with relief.
“Oh, good. You’re here. I didn’t want to have to track you down,” she said, reaching for my hand and starting to drag me forward. My feet resisted, though, remaining planted firmly on the stone floor.
“Wait,” I muttered, slipping my hand from hers and rubbing my temple. “Any potential surprises?”
Isa gripped both of my shoulders. “There are always potential surprises, Calla. You know this, but I’ll be right there with you if they arise. Yes?”
I gave a string of small nods, though my gut was still annoyingly tied up in knots. Gritting my teeth, I drew in one last, slow breath, and muttered, “I’m ready.”
Inside the hall, my throne had been set up on a long dais with two smaller chairs placed on either side for the competitors. My core tightened at the sight of Matthias seated on my left, just as he had been at dinner—a fact I had to quickly brush out of my mind before it distracted me. Phillip sat to the right, and Isa had thankfully kept Matthias and Korben apart, placing Graham beside him instead.
The males didn’t turn as I approached, stepping around my throne on Phillip’s side—a minor precaution to ward off any temptation. Even with hundreds present, I didn’t trust myself with Matthias. From the corner of my eye, I could see him look at me, a devilish grin gracing his lips. I ignored it as best I could, pushing my attention to those gathered before me. Clasping my hands behind my back, I looked out at the crowd and greeted them.
“Good morning,” I said firmly, giving them a moment to quiet their conversations and turn toward the dais. Every face looked toward me, setting off a frantic fluttering in my chest. “I do apologize that I have not been able to meet with you as oftenas my parents did, but I want to offer my sincere gratitude that you have been so gracious and understanding to me during such tough times.”
Somewhere in the sea of faces someone scoffed. How many here today believed the rumors? How many thought me a heartless killer? If they only knew the truth about their king’s death, they would understand why I’d exiled the humans, why I’d killed so many for their insolence. Or would they?
Ignoring it, I continued. “As you can see, today’s assembly is a special one, as I am accompanied by the four finalists of our tournament. They will be aiding me in my judgment of your cases to assess how well we might rule together. While this is not an official trial in the games, it is a valuable exercise for all of us. I expect you to show them the same respect and courtesy you do me.”
I nearly scoffed myself, given what little respect and courtesy my subjects showed me by spreading those disgusting rumors. Swallowing hard, I settled myself onto my throne and beckoned Isa and her list of grievances forward. She stepped down off the dais and stood in front of me, looking out at those gathered as she called the first case forward.
“Mrs. Mola of Leighbracht,” she said in her commanding tone.
An older female hobbled forward on frail legs, supporting herself with a weathered wooden cane. She bowed her chin to me and then glanced warily at the males to either side. I searched my memory for this female’s case, vaguely recalling it had something to do with her crops.
Smiling warmly down at her, I greeted her directly. “Good morning, Mrs. Mola. How can we assist you today?”
“Your Majesty, it’s my crops,” she said, bowing her head sheepishly again. “The season has been too dry, leaving me withlittle to sell at the market and barely enough to feed myself and my young ones.”
I turned to my right. “Korben,” I said, waiting for the male to look at me before I proceeded. He barely turned toward me, though, choosing to give only a cursory glance my way. I curled my fingers into the arms of my throne, trying to ease the anger his impertinence sparked, but pulling in a calming breath brought Matthias’s familiar—and distracting—scent of woody leather.
Focus, Calla.