Page 59 of Until the Stars Fall

“Exactly.”

Matthias set his glass on the table and roughed a hand over his jaw. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but you need to harness that part of yourself and learn how to use it. If you keep running from it and pretending like it’s not there, you’ll find yourself in this spiral of shame every time it awakens. This is part of who you are, like it or not. It’s only a weakness if you allow it to be.”

Could my temper really be a strength?

I wasn’t convinced.

Anger only led to bruises and scars and regrets, but maybe he was right. Maybe it could be honed like any other skill. Perhaps I could control it rather than being controlled by it.

“How?” I asked quietly, not expecting him to have an actual answer.

“To be honest? I don’t know. Practice?”

“So I should seek out opportunities to be angry?” I asked, shaking my head at how absurd that sounded.

Matthias shrugged. “Shouldn’t be too hard. I hear there’s a girl down in the kitchen who could help.”

Lieke’s glowering face immediately came to mind, and I groaned loudly enough that I earned a laugh from my friend.

“Or not. Is Brennan no longer a reliable option?”

The change in my brother over the last several days had been remarkable. Upon Princess Calla’s arrival, he’d smoothly slid into his role of doting suitor, taking her on a tour of the grounds and escorting her on visits to the village.

“No, actually,” I said. “He seems to have finally accepted his circumstances. I expect a proposal any day now.”

“Should happen today if my scout’s information is reliable,” Matthias said, gesturing for me to follow him back to the palace.

“Good. The sooner we get him married off, the sooner I can focus on other things.”

“And the proposal should help with your anger management,” he said.

“How so?”

“A proposal means a big announcement dinner.” He raised a brow as we reached the front steps. Groaning, I dropped my chin to my chest, and Matthias slapped me on the back. “If that prick at the pub the other day shows up, you can practice controlling your anger with him instead of needing to seek out the girl.”

Without fail, Lieke appeared in my mind, her contentious smile mocking me for my desire to avoid her.

CHAPTER 28

Lieke

Mrs. Bishop held me to my promise not to sulk too long, and when I returned to work, she seemed more than willing to give me additional duties to help me avoid thinking about Brennan. No amount of fatigue, though, could protect me from my dreams. Every night, I fell into bed with my muscles screaming from the day’s work, and every day, I woke with my heart aching even more than my body.

The pain would dull eventually. Losing Mother had taught me that. According to Mrs. Bishop, I’d suffered a loss—the loss of a dream, a future—and that deserved to be mourned.

For the last week, I had been following a rigorous schedule to keep my mind busy— waking early to run, then trudging to the kitchen and grabbing a bite to eat before diving into the day’s chores. I baked bread for the Durands’ breakfast, picked vegetables in the garden, harvested fruit from the orchard, and helped Mrs. Bishop plan the menu for the next day.

Today, however, upon stepping outside, I was greeted with a torrential downpour, which prevented me from going on my usual run around the property, so I made my way to the kitchen earlier than usual.

I immediately wished I hadn’t.

“It’s not like he loved her,” a voice said from inside. It sounded like Marin. I paused. Glancing around to ensure the hallway was empty, I pressed my ear to the door.

“Doesn’t matter though, does it?” There was no mistaking Mrs. Bishop’s lilt. Despite her kind tone, overhearing her gossiping about me twisted my stomach.

You don’t know they’re talking about you though,I reminded myself.

“I suppose not, but what exactly did she expect?” Marin asked. “She had to know she couldn’t have him. He’s a prince. She’s a human.”

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