Page 136 of Until the Stars Fall

Slumping against the wall of the training building, I slid down until I was sitting in the dirt. Matthias tossed his sparring sword onto a nearby table before joining me on the ground.

“I thought this was what you wanted,” he said. “To find your mate, I mean.”

I threw my head back against the wall, appreciating the sting as it hit hard. “Honestly? I hoped I never would.”

Matthias stiffened. “What?”

“Losing my mother was hell for me, and I was just her son. Her death is slowly killing my father, and the thought of enduring such pain myself…”

“So what? The bond is there now, whether you like it or not, right?”

Dipping my chin slightly, I said, “Yes—”

“Pain is part of life,” Matthias said. “You can’t hide from it or escape it.”

“I can delay it though.”

“At what cost?”

I let out a hollow laugh. “It should be easier, shouldn’t it? She’s my mate—our souls are destined to be together—yet I can’t even talk to her.”

“To be fair, though, how many mates met because one was in love with the other one’s brother?”

He had a point, but that didn’t make any of this easier.

“Look, Connor,” Matthias said, pausing to take a long inhale. “She’ll be here any minute. You can do this. You’ve saved this girl so many times. The least she can do is hear you out, and if she can’t handle this bond, if she can’t accept it and she walks away, at least you can go on knowing you tried. Trust her to make her own decision, whether it’s the decision you want or not.”

“You’re right,” I said, lifting my head and giving him a sideways glance.

“Of course I’m right,” he said around a smile. “That’s why you keep me around.”

“That and because you’re the only one willing to call me out on my bullshit.”

“Yes, that too.” He rose to his feet and offered me a hand. “You can do this. I’m heading out to check in with the soldiers, but find me tomorrow? Unless, of course, it goes really well and you’re too busy.”

CHAPTER 70

Lieke

I was a mess the entire walk to the training ring. My pulse was going so fast by the time I arrived that I half expected Connor to hear it and greet me at the door. He didn’t though, so I took the opportunity to pause outside and gather my thoughts.

As my emotions wreaked havoc on me—covering my chest with nervous tingles, filling my stomach with excited flutters, prickling my skin with a cold fear—I took deep breaths, filling my lungs with the pine-soaked air. Acknowledging each of my emotions, I reminded myself that they weren’t the enemy. They were simply a part of life. They only ruled over me if I let them.

I had nearly calmed down when something new slammed into me, pressing against my heart with such intensity that I pressed a hand to my sternum as if I could quench it.

Guilt.

My nightmare flashed into focus, Anna’s words spinning around in my head.“We warned you. We told you what would happen.”

I had lied to Connor after the attack. I’d done it to him to save him and Brennan, sure, but I had lied all the same. And here I was about to demand that he be honest with me.

It’s different.

But was it? I was trying to protect him. How did I know he wasn’t keeping his distance to do the same for me?

Swallowing hard, I forced my feet to carry me through the door. As I entered, Connor rose from where he’d been sitting against the wall, brushed the dirt off his dark pants, and shoved his hands into his pockets. His eyes caught mine briefly before darting away to look elsewhere.

“You came,” he said softly, seeming to drop the words at his feet rather than saying them to me.

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