Page 122 of Until the Stars Fall

“I should have been more careful,” I mumbled. “I should have—”

“No, there’s nothing you could have done differently. Not against their poisoned weapons.”

“Are you hurt?” I asked, though I knew they probably wouldn’t have attacked another human. Had she talked to them? I didn’t wait for an answer to my first question. “What happened after I fell?”

“I’m fine, relatively speaking,” she said, dropping her gaze to the ground between us. “I came back when I realized you weren’t with me. Found you on the ground, trapped under Rosie’s body. The dart they shot you with—the needle?—it must not have been the same kind they got Evan with, because it killed him instantly. You, it obviously didn’t.”

“You didn’t see them?”

She shook her head slowly, her eyes still cast down.

“And the needle?”

“I have it in my pouch to take back to your healers. Thought they might be able to compare it to whatever was on my knives. But, Connor…” She grabbed my hand as her blue eyes, full of sadness, found mine again. “Rosie… I had to…”

Rosie. She’d collapsed beneath me. Right before I’d blacked out. Where was she? I pivoted my head around until I found her lying nearby. Tears gathered as I leaned back to look at the sky. It had no right to be so brilliantly blue when my girl was gone.

“I’m so sorry, Connor. I tried to end her suffering quickly,” Lieke said, pulling my attention back to her. Her bottom lip quivered as she watched me, but my vision quickly glazed over. This wasn’t the first horse I’d lost, but she had been the best one, and now I couldn’t even bury her. Not by myself. The embers of my anger sparked to life, spreading through me as I stared at Rosie, growing hotter when I caught sight of the other fallen bodies around us. The rebels needed to be stopped. Giving them a human queen wasn’t enough, and I’d been a fool to think it would be. We needed to find them, to end them.

But how?

“We need to get home, Connor.”

She wanted me to go home now? To just leave my fallen guards?

“I can’t,” I muttered.

“Is it your leg?” she asked, gingerly reaching for me.

“No, it’s not!” I snapped, and she froze in place. Pressing my teeth together as hard as I could, I waited for Lieke to yell at me in return. But she didn’t.

Leaning back, she sat on the ground and pulled her legs up to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees and watched me as she chewed on her lower lip. We sat there staring at each other in silence, which was fine by me. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to yell. I didn’t want to do anything but process everything.

And she let me.

The entire world seemed to be pressing against my chest, threatening to crush me. I couldn’t escape this reality. My people were being slaughtered by rebels I couldn’t find. My country was falling apart around me while I did what? Paraded this woman around? All in hopes of convincing everyone that she could help us, of wanting to prove to myself that I hadn’t completely fucked up by saving her life.

Time and time again, I’d saved her. Had I been wrong?

“I can’t do this,” I whispered.

Lieke tilted her head slightly as her brow creased with concern. “Do what?”

My shoulders fell with my weary exhale. “I can’t save anyone. Except you, apparently.”

Her lips twitched as though she were fighting a smile. “You can. You have. But you can’t save everyone, Wolfie.”

My sternum caved inward. My throat tightened. She was right, of course, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. I was their prince, soon to be their king, and I couldn’t keep them safe. What good was a ruler who couldn’t even protect his people?

“You’re carrying too much,” she said carefully.

I scoffed. “Because I have to.”

“Do you though?”

Pushing myself forward, I leaned toward her. “Who else is there, Sapphire? My brother?” I threw a harsh laugh in her face. “My father? You?”

“You’re not alone, Connor. This may be your burden to bear, but you don’t have to shoulder any of it alone. You have Matthias. You have me. Let me help you.”

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