Page 2 of My Orc in Uniform

Anyhow, point is, Kelly is an acceptable human, and the only reason I was currently sneering at her—internally, so no one besides Joleen would ever guess—was just me being petty.

Because if Simbelwasgoing to start paying attention to any of the ladies here at the school, it would absolutely be Kelly. She’s perky, enthusiastic, confident as hell, athletic, has great hair…et cetera. Not that I didn’t think Simbelshouldstart paying attention to her. I just wish the universe didn’t always hand her exactly what she wanted, ya know?

Dr. Johnson cleared her throat, and I swallowed down my sigh to focus on testing protocols again. Huzzah.

The damn meeting took another forty-five minutes, and even donuts couldn’t make that fun, so I was in a foul mood when I made it back to the front office.

How much of that’s because of Kelly? Very little, I lied to myself.

I threw myself down in my rolling chair behind the main desk. This was my domain, and honestly, I usually loved it. I loved how different the tasks were each day, and how I had to switch between parent emails, student records, bus schedules, student issues, and a million other tasks minute-to-minute. My job was never boring, I’ll give you that.

Maybe my job was mything?

Gah, how depressing. Next, I’d take up jigsaw puzzles and NPR radio.

I logged into my computer to find two emails from the district and three from parents. I was bent over my keyboard when Joleen returned from the library.

“Probably a good thing you didn’t stick around,” she teased, leaning over my desk to smirk. “You-know-who got all up in his business.”

I groaned theatrically and leaned back in my chair. “Even worse than what I saw? You’re kidding.” I mean, don’t judge, but gossip is what gets me through some days.

“Oh, honey, I’mfarfrom kidding. She wasallover him, touching him every chance she got.” Joleen straightened and mimed putting her arm around a large body, then slid her hand over the pretend man’s pecs, squeezing his biceps. She put on a squeaky voice. “Oh, you’re so strong, where do you work out? Tee-hee. I wish Eastshore had a real gym, don’t you? Tee-hee. Wanna come work out with me? Tee-hee.”

I was shaking my head at her impression. “What are the odds on if it works? I’ll bet he falls for it.”

“No bet,” Joleen snorted. “He’s a dude, isn’t he?”

I shrugged. “Maybe orcs aren’t as clueless as human men? Just run by their dicks?”

“Oh, that reminds me!” Joleen was already on her way to her office but poked her head back out to offer the invitation. “Maggie wanted me to invite you to dinner Friday night.”

I brightened because Joleen’s wife was one of the best cooks I knew. But then, my shoulders fell. “I would love that, you know it.”

“We’re going to turn you to the dark side yet. I told you there are more lesbians on Eastshore than you know.”

Chuckling, I shook my head. It was something we’d joked about over the last years; my experience with Patrick’s father, and all the guys I’d dated since then, had taught me that dudes were in it for their own pleasure, and expected me to be too. I had enough guy drama in my life with one teenage son, thank you very much. I didn’t need to be catering to someone else who couldn’t be bothered to cater tomein return.

Too bad I just wasn’t attracted to women.

I mean, you could date a lady for companionship, yeah? You don’t have to actually…doanything.

But…

“The idea has merit,” I told her, “but I’m not interested in datinganyoneright now. Maybe in a few years, when I get Patrick off to college, I could think about it.”

“Lady, you’re going to be forty in a few years! Fortyisn’told!” Joleen waggled a finger at me. “You’re nowhere near dead, and you’re certainly too young to be acting like the dried-up husk of a woman you’re pretending to be. Are you eating dinner at four p.m. and sticking Werther’s candies in your purse? Get out andlivea little, for goodness’ sakes! Maggie’s making pot pie.”

This time, I groaned out loud. Maggie’s pie crust was todiefor. “I want to, Jo, but the basketball game is Friday.”

“So? You’re not on duty, are you?”

Since I wasn’t a teacher, I didn’t have extracurricular duties like chaperoning basketball games…but my son didn’t know that. “I have to be there to keep an eye on Patrick.”

“Ah.”

That was all she said:Ah.

Joleen had been my friend for long enough that she saw my sweet little boy turn into a hormonal preteen and now a surly teenager who was, despiteeverythingI could do, falling in with the wrong crowd.

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