Page 137 of A Bond in Blood

“He was supposed to write to you. To gather information.”

“Why?” I whispered.

“Because I needed to understand what to expect. Because I knew eventually I had to claim my end of my ancient bargain.” Ulrich leaned back in the chair, thrumming his fingers on the arm. “He was supposed to find out if you were a threat to me. Not write intimate, romantic letters. Not profess love.”

“You said it was fake,” I sniffled.

“Leif was a fool. A hungry and greed-filled being, interested only in his self-preservation. I cannot explain to you why his mind changed, and he allowed you into his heart.”

“So, you lied.” I glared.

“I have not.”

“You said it was fake! Thathedidn’t love me. Yet you’re claiming he did.”

Ulrich was silent but his fingers continued to tap his chair.

“Did you want him?”

I was enraged by the question. “Of course I did!”

“Have you mourned him?”

“Excuse me?” My eyes went wide at the accusation.

Ulrich leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees while his eyes studied me. “I think he was as much of an escape and a self-preservation plan for you as you were for him.”

“Stop it,” I whimpered.

The chair fell, just as it had the night before while Ulrich stood and crossed the room. Too fast for me to track.

My head pressed against the headboard while he pushed against me. His hands laid above my head and his green eyes held mine.

“Admit it, Brenna,” he whispered. “Admit that while youbelieveyou loved him, you actually loved theideaof him. The escape he provided.”

“No.”

Ulrich pressed his hips into mine and I bit my lip at the hardness between us.

“Admit it.”

“I will never harm you, Bren,”I whispered. “I will never cause pain or torment to your mind, heart, or body.”

Ulrich pulled away, blinking with confusion. “What are you saying?”

“I will hold your soul as tenderly as a babe, cradling your kindness with the love it deserves,”I continued while my tears fell. “I will fight for you every hour of every day. Never allowing harm to come your way.”

“Are you reciting a spell?” Ulrich snapped.

My head turned to him. “Those were his words, Ulrich. His promises. Was I hopeful to have control over myself with him? Of course. But the promises he wrote me, even if they were a ploy inyourgame, meant the world to me.”

“But the man?” Ulrich countered. “Did you truly love him?”

My frustrated tears fell, and I leaned my head back. “Does it fulfill your sick fantasies and delights to know that you are right? That I loved theideaof him? That I loved the route he gave me toward a life of my own making? That there was a brief, maddening moment of relief when I realized I would not be a bride?”

My lips quivered with my admissions while shame settled over me. It had been there all along; my hidden secret. The apprehension I’d had that day on the dock, waiting to beclaimedby a man. Ironic, considering that was exactly what happened.

Gods I was a monster when the relief had washed over me when I realized Leif was dead and would never claim to me.

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