Page 136 of A Bond in Blood

Olen’s brow rose. “How?”

“Did I want Ulrich to be the one to fulfill my desires? Yes. Do I want Ulrich to be the one to hold my heart? To be the one I trust and run to?”

Olen sat on the ground, as silent as the room we stood in.

I stared at the city beyond and the misted sea in the distance.

I released a breath. “I had someone I thought loved me. Someone whom I confided in. Who I allowed to know my most private thoughts andhetook him.”

I turned away from the beast, heading toward the bathing room.

“Ulrich is incapable of love, Olen. He is incapable of being anything more than the monster he has proven himself to be.”

Olen let out a rough snarl while I closed the door. His claws scraped across the stone on the other end, but I refused to allow him in. I needed a moment to sit with my choices. To ponder my insanity. To live in silence and penance for my body wanting more.

Of the beast outside.

And the monster I could not rid my mind of.

Olen was gone when I exited the bathing room. The curtains were still open, and I was surprised to see the late evening sun already setting.

I approached the disheveled bed and sank into the mattress, wrapping my towel around me. In front of me the plush chair still sat tipped over, a reminder of my foolish choices.

“You should feel no shame for last night.”

Ulrich’s voice came from the hidden door, and I turned around. The mask on his face was different. A light cream color, a stark contrast from his usual dark choices.

“I don’t feel shame,” I replied. “Perhaps regret.”

He leaned against the door frame. “Why regret?”

“Why would I not feel regret? I haven’t allowed any hands, besides my own, to touch me in nearly four years. One night of wine and suddenly my morals disappeared.”

“Why wait for so long?” Ulrich crossed the room. He was silent as he bent, pulling up the chair from the floor and sitting before me.

My breath hitched in my chest at the sight of him.

He gave me a sly smile as he leaned back, crossing his legs.

“I was waiting for him,” I replied.

Ulrich sat straight, ending his taunting position. “Why?”

I laughed then shook my head. “Because I wanted to. Because despite him knowing I would never be a virgin bride, I wanted him to know I had waited for him.”

“But it was all fake,” Ulrich replied with a blank expression.

My hands fisted the blanket beneath me. “It was not for me.”

“Would you like to know what he wanted?” Ulrich asked.

I held my towel in place and crawled up to the head of the bed, laying my cheek against my knee. Allowing silence to fill the space.

My heart ached while I stared at the king, unable to respond. Unable to move.

A part of me wanted to know. Wanted to understand how I had been fooled. But the heartbroken part of me that could barely breathe begged for the continued lack of knowledge. To allow me to remain in my ignorance.

“He wasn’t supposed to develop feelings for you,” Ulrich continued without my response.

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