Page 90 of That One Moment

“No, I showered while you were out, and food will be here really soon. I ordered from that new Italian place down the road.”

“Nice,” Jamie says before turning and lifting his face into the warm stream.

Thunder bursts and I look out the small bathroom window to see the rain is heavier now and the sky is dark and forlorn. “Do you have some change? I think whoever delivers to us in this weather deserves a big tip.”

Jamie pours shampoo into his hair and starts lathering it up, soapy suds rolling down his arms and shoulders.

“Yeah, try my wallet or my top drawer. I threw some coins in there last week.”

Jamie starts humming to himself before his beautiful voice fills the air, and I touch a fingertip to the smile on my face as I walk away.

In our room, I look in his wallet but come up empty, then dig around in his drawer. It’s full of random shit, old receipts, a book of stamps, an allen key and a few coins - not nearly enough for a decent tip. I keep digging, pushing aside odd socks and a photo album until a small silver tin about the size of a mobile phone catches my attention. When I lift it, it rattles and I pull off the lid to find a tenner, some coins and one other item that has my hands stalling and my pulse racing.

A ring. A silver - possibly platinum ring.

There’s a knock at the door and I react quickly, pocketing the ring and dashing to open the door, tipping the guy and taking our food from him as fast as possible.

Back in our room, I take the piece of jewellery out of my pocket, rolling it in my hand until my mind clicks.

It’s an engagement ring.

My knees turn to jelly, my heart skipping over itself at what this means. It feels soon, maybe too soon, but at the same time, it feels right. So fucking right.

Jamie wants to marry me.

My hands shake, excitement simmering low in my gut and I chance a quick look over my shoulder then slide the ring on, admiring the way it fits and looks against my slim finger. Pretending I don’t know what Jamie plans to ask is going to be hard, I only hope he does it soon.

The sound of the shower shutting off has me acting to take the ring off. In my haste, I fumble to get it off and manage to drop it, watching as it clatters to the floor.

“Shit,” I say, scooping it up and noticing as I do that it’s engraved on the inside.

When I lift it to the light and read the engraving, my heart stops. Air ceases to exist in my lungs and I swear the rumble of thunder that sounds through our flat is the sound of my soul breaking in two.

Jamie and Cooper. Forever and Always.

I read the words over and over, thinking there must be some mistake. Everything in me coils tight and screams at me that it’s not what it looks like.

But I know better than that. I know better because Jamie was never mine to have. Jamie was always Cooper’s.

Jamie and Cooper. Forever and Always.

The ring sits heavy in my hand. It could be a bullet for how badly it’s torn through me.

“I’m sorry I took so long in the shower. It took ages to warm me up. I’m not going out in that storm,” Jamie says.

I look up from the metal in my hand and meet his eyes. He frowns, a deep groove appearing along his forehead, then his eyes track down, and he pales when he sees what I’m holding.

“I can explain.” Jamie steps towards me. I take a step back and lift my free hand. My other closes into a fist, holding onto the blasted thing because I can’t let it go.

“You wanted to marry him?” My voice sounds small, weak, defeated.

Jamie swallows but nods. “I did.”

My body is cold and numb when I nod in reply. “I’m an idiot.”

“Hey, no, don’t say that.” Jamie comes closer and I don’t have the energy to push him away when he presses a hand under my chin and lifts my face. “I love you.”

“How can you know that, when you’re still holding on to him?” I lift the ring, holding it between two fingers.